Podchaser Logo Rate on Podchaser

Episode 1

full
Published on:

18th Aug 2025

Dwerk Hard, Play Harder: Season 2 Kickoff

Vacation’s over and the chaos crew is back—with extra glitter, accidental thirst traps, and questionable Instagram scrolls. In this unfiltered Season 2 premiere, Peter, Carissa, and Shaun go deep on internet dwerking (yes, with a “d”), public indecency, and stories so wild you’ll need a private folder for your camera roll. From gym class drama to Cirque du Soleil–level Mondays, tune in for confession-worthy laughs and the signature queer energy you missed. Hit play and join Apocalypse & Avocados for your Monday meltdown—you know you need it.

Transcript
Peter:

Hey, it's Peter.

2

:

Before we hit the theme music, let's

address the glitter covered elephant

3

:

in the room, gaze and twerking.

4

:

If you've ever opened up Instagram

and been hit with a slow mo video

5

:

of a man flopping his business

around like he's auditioning

6

:

for Cirque de Soleil, congrats.

7

:

You're on the Gay internet.

8

:

Welcome to Apocalypse and Avocados,

where we drk harder than we were

9

:

and nobody's Camera roll is safe.

10

:

Theme music before Carissa gets,

its banned for public indecency.

11

:

Apocalypse and avocados.

12

:

Peter: Hey everyone.

13

:

Welcome back to Apocalypse

and Avocados, chaos Crew.

14

:

Doom, scrollers, whatever else

we're calling you this week.

15

:

It's Peter here and we're back refreshed.

16

:

How you guys feeling?

17

:

Oh, I'm feeling so refreshed.

18

:

Carissa: I'm feeling really good.

19

:

I can't believe it's been a couple weeks.

20

:

This is wild.

21

:

Peter: I'm feeling fucking sweaty as fuck.

22

:

I don't know about you, but

this weather's been nuts.

23

:

Oh, thought that's what you

meant by refreshed, moist,

24

:

refreshed, freshly washed.

25

:

Carissa: Yeah, freshly

washed and fucking sweat.

26

:

Peter: Yes, exactly.

27

:

It's humid.

28

:

Taints are extremely moist today.

29

:

Ooh, the smells.

30

:

Yes, that smells.

31

:

We didn't ghost you.

32

:

We're still in the group chat.

33

:

And we are back better than

ever, as far as I'm concerned.

34

:

And the sweat rings around the shirt.

35

:

We got those to prove it.

36

:

Carissa: You know, what's

the worst titty sweat?

37

:

Sorry.

38

:

Oh yeah.

39

:

I'm just saying.

40

:

Peter: Under boob sweat.

41

:

Yes.

42

:

Carissa: Well, yeah, you gotta wear

a fucking bra being a fucking woman.

43

:

Yeah.

44

:

So I sweat all fucking day for no reason.

45

:

Peter: I probably need a bra.

46

:

I probably, I made smiley

faces with my sweat.

47

:

Carissa: If you wore bra, then

you'd have mold under there.

48

:

Peter: It's not a good time molding.

49

:

Yes, exactly.

50

:

But yeah, it's been fun.

51

:

It's been a little bit of time away.

52

:

Sorry about that.

53

:

We anticipated dropping

some mini episodes.

54

:

Life got caught up with us.

55

:

And just the humidity.

56

:

No one really wants to do anything

when they're sweating from places they

57

:

didn't even know they could sweat from.

58

:

But yeah, we're back better than ever.

59

:

And we're ready to talk

about drk twerking.

60

:

Oh, drk twerking.

61

:

So for a lot of us, we don't even

know what the fuck that means.

62

:

But Sean, you want.

63

:

Enlighten us here.

64

:

Shaun: Okay, so in my research

for science I've come across two

65

:

different definitions of D Dorking.

66

:

One is dramatic desk twerking,

which like, I see how that applies.

67

:

However,

68

:

Peter: that sounds like an

HR nightmare either way.

69

:

Shaun: All of, yeah.

70

:

All of the videos that I have seen

that are labeled twerking are of men

71

:

flopping their appendages around Why

are we being what do you call that?

72

:

Preserved about it.

73

:

Let's go back.

74

:

It's all of men flopping their PEs around

teens dos, helicoptering that shit.

75

:

Okay.

76

:

So I have a confession.

77

:

That's part of it.

78

:

That's one.

79

:

That's one of the moves.

80

:

Peter: What's your confession?

81

:

Carissa: Lesbians do that too.

82

:

Shaun: That's, so that's

what I was gonna get into.

83

:

'cause also trans women

are doing it now too.

84

:

Peter: Every time.

85

:

Okay.

86

:

Trans women, they have

the appendage still.

87

:

No, they don't.

88

:

Some some.

89

:

No, they do.

90

:

Some do.

91

:

Yeah.

92

:

Yeah.

93

:

Sorry.

94

:

But how do lesbians doing this

with dildos and strap bonds?

95

:

Strap bonds.

96

:

It's so

97

:

Carissa: much fun.

98

:

So that's what I was

99

:

Shaun: also gonna say.

100

:

It's gone insane to the point that

people are putting stuff in their

101

:

pants to make it like, look like they

have this massive penis and they're

102

:

flopping it around and it just, it looks

like there's this one guy, and I'll

103

:

link it to the episode or something.

104

:

But he's it goes down

to his, like his knee.

105

:

And Ew.

106

:

You have to look for

where it is in the video.

107

:

Then all of a sudden you see

it and you're like, what the

108

:

Carissa: fuck that?

109

:

Is that a double sided?

110

:

I hope it's not real.

111

:

Shaun: It has to be.

112

:

It can't be real.

113

:

Carissa: That's bigger than a baby arm.

114

:

Peter: Oh,

115

:

Carissa: could you imagine?

116

:

No,

117

:

Peter: I don't want to

That that sounds painful.

118

:

Carissa: Poor man or woman, whatever.

119

:

God.

120

:

Peter: Wait, how do you,

do you get lightheaded?

121

:

When you get erected?

122

:

Do you even see it?

123

:

Okay, I can show you guys.

124

:

Do you even see it?

125

:

I have it pulled up.

126

:

It's like the button.

127

:

Quail guy.

128

:

I'm pretty sure all of our

listeners have seen it.

129

:

Oh my god, he pulled it up.

130

:

Ew.

131

:

Carissa: No way.

132

:

Oh God.

133

:

There's no fucking way.

134

:

Peter: So first off, I wanna start

with the fact that he is black.

135

:

And this is a that's

the only reason anyone

136

:

Shaun: would believe it might be real.

137

:

It's still

138

:

Peter: not believable because of

all the black penises I've seen.

139

:

I've only seen one big one.

140

:

Like massive one like that you mean?

141

:

Yeah.

142

:

Not like that.

143

:

That looks like you can resuscitate

somebody through the ass, but

144

:

that was not cute.

145

:

But yeah, it's a common misconception

that all black men are big.

146

:

Carissa: That was almost the

length of his fucking leg.

147

:

Peter: That was the length.

148

:

This is

149

:

Shaun: why the gays are obsessed with it.

150

:

Peter: Okay.

151

:

John, we have to be descriptive.

152

:

This is an Asian man with no ass.

153

:

He's flopping around what

he thinks is a big pen.

154

:

It's not small, but they're all

155

:

Carissa: wearing the gray sweatpants.

156

:

Peter: Yes.

157

:

Shaun: That's

158

:

Carissa: that's the thing, huh?

159

:

Yeah.

160

:

Shaun: Yeah.

161

:

It's, that's seems to be

part of it from my research.

162

:

Carissa: So lesbians are

doing this with strap ons.

163

:

Shaun: Oh, ew.

164

:

Carissa: They're doing the

same exact thing that, that

165

:

dance with the gray sweatpants.

166

:

And they're strapping on appendages.

167

:

Peter: But doesn't that,

like, not even, I don't care.

168

:

Doesn't that hurt the clu?

169

:

Carissa: I don't know.

170

:

I've never done that.

171

:

Peter: You're supposed

to be a resident lesbian.

172

:

You've never helicoptered a pen.

173

:

You should try it.

174

:

I have.

175

:

Well leave the room.

176

:

But not

177

:

Carissa: with this.

178

:

I've n never done it

with the sweatpants on.

179

:

I'm not gonna try it

when you leave the room.

180

:

Peter: Yeah.

181

:

You gotta tell

182

:

Carissa: us.

183

:

I don't have any of my gear here.

184

:

This is

185

:

Peter: scientific.

186

:

Shaun: Can I discover for science?

187

:

Can I show you the gayest thing ever?

188

:

Carissa: Oh, what do we have?

189

:

Shaun: Yeah, why are

you drk with your bro?

190

:

Carissa: Okay, that's a little weird.

191

:

Okay,

192

:

Peter: so it is two straight men.

193

:

One looks like douche canoe umcause.

194

:

He is wearing a backwards white hat

with the sleeves that were clearly

195

:

ripped off on his shirt with leopard

print shorts that come up to his taint.

196

:

And then his best friend is wearing

a New York T-shirt and black.

197

:

Semi short.

198

:

Short flopping around and it looks like

his peeing is at, almost at the seams.

199

:

So we know that this isn't real.

200

:

And then they're both white, so

yeah, I don't know about this.

201

:

Carissa: Not a good time.

202

:

Peter: No, it's not a good

time to look at either.

203

:

It's like assaulting your retina is when

you open your phone, it's only about 10

204

:

Carissa: seconds and it just

repeats over and over again.

205

:

Yeah,

206

:

Peter: that's about as

as a straight person,

207

:

Carissa: the one with the dark, the

one with the darker shorts doesn't

208

:

even look like he does what he's doing.

209

:

I imagine it fucking, fucking

210

:

Shaun: hurts.

211

:

I don't, I can't imagine that feels good.

212

:

Just flopping your junk around.

213

:

It's not real.

214

:

But even if it's not real, you're flopping

something in there around at your junk

215

:

Peter: that

216

:

Carissa: probably hurts.

217

:

You're gonna hit

218

:

Peter: yourself in the balls.

219

:

You know that the biggest asshole

white man in those pants, like the

220

:

douchey guys that you automatically

see on the street and you're

221

:

like, ah, that guy's an asshole.

222

:

I don't wanna talk to him.

223

:

Have the smallest penises.

224

:

They really do.

225

:

You see them and you're like, that's it.

226

:

They pull it out all proud and

you're like, that's all I worked

227

:

this hard to get you in the bed

and this is all, that's all I get.

228

:

The booby prize.

229

:

Fucking terrible.

230

:

Shaun: I don't know why this came

to mind, but what about people that

231

:

are into titty fucking Carissa?

232

:

You would get her to comment on that?

233

:

Carissa: I honestly have never done that.

234

:

With a strap on to a girl.

235

:

That would just be weird.

236

:

It's not real.

237

:

I don't know.

238

:

It's weird

239

:

Shaun: either way.

240

:

It is real though, because

some gay guys do it.

241

:

Carissa: What?

242

:

Uh, Uhhuh.

243

:

Wait, wait.

244

:

Oh, you're talking

245

:

Peter: about the fat gay guys?

246

:

Mm-hmm.

247

:

Some of 'em.

248

:

Yeah.

249

:

They like squish their cleavage together.

250

:

Oh, their man Chiechi.

251

:

Carissa: How does this say?

252

:

I don't understand it.

253

:

I don't understand.

254

:

How does that feel?

255

:

Good feel?

256

:

How does that feel?

257

:

Good.

258

:

Peter: I don't know.

259

:

Is it just 'cause it's warm?

260

:

'cause flashlights are warm.

261

:

If you put 'em in the microwave.

262

:

Is

263

:

Carissa: it cute too?

264

:

Hands

265

:

Peter: can be warm too.

266

:

Carissa: Yeah.

267

:

Rust it at someone's chin.

268

:

I just don't understand it.

269

:

It just seems like

270

:

Shaun: an accident waiting to happen.

271

:

Peter: It sounds like an ER

story that you can't explain.

272

:

Carissa: Oh God.

273

:

You've seen those shows.

274

:

Oh my.

275

:

Why is it always a guy doing

something stupid with his dick?

276

:

Just saying always

277

:

Peter: or his ass because

that's where his brain is.

278

:

Yeah.

279

:

Why are you shoving shit in your ass?

280

:

Your why are you shoving

281

:

Carissa: your dick in random holes

like a fucking gas tank on your car?

282

:

Who does that?

283

:

Shaun: Just try having sex with

a guy just once if you want.

284

:

Know what something in your ass feels

like or ask your girlfriend to put

285

:

something up there like a dildo.

286

:

Don't shove light bulbs in like other S

items from around the house in your butt.

287

:

Peter: Yeah, just get pegged.

288

:

That's fine.

289

:

No one's gonna

290

:

Shaun: judge you.

291

:

Peter: I'm judging it.

292

:

I might a little bit with your

293

:

Carissa: best life.

294

:

I mean,

295

:

Peter: have you seen

hunting wives on Netflix?

296

:

Carissa: I have not watched it yet.

297

:

You guys told me it was like porno.

298

:

Shaun: Oh my ago.

299

:

It's like it is the most

sic, not just SIC gay.

300

:

SIC ish.

301

:

Peter: There's gonna be a point

where you get really, and I don't

302

:

care who's listening, spoiler alert

if you're gonna watch it, there's a

303

:

point where you see one of the hunting

wives and she likes the other hunting

304

:

wife, but she pegs her husband.

305

:

Like you don't actually see the action.

306

:

But her husband's the chief of police.

307

:

So now you all know what

character it is, but

308

:

Carissa: I don't know

how I feel about this.

309

:

Peter: Yeah, you watch it happen.

310

:

Shaun: It's, the show is so crazy that

you just have to keep watching it.

311

:

You're like now that I've

started, I have to know how this.

312

:

Whole thing turns out.

313

:

Carissa: So I guess I

gotta start watching it.

314

:

Shaun: Yeah.

315

:

Okay.

316

:

Peter: It's really good.

317

:

Shaun: It's, we have one

episode left, I think.

318

:

Peter: Yeah.

319

:

We haven't watched it

because it's so strange

320

:

Shaun: that, and I'm like, I don't

know how they're gonna wrap things

321

:

up in one episode right now.

322

:

Peter: Yeah.

323

:

There's a lot that was going on.

324

:

You, you don't know how, I don't know

how they're gonna wrap it up, but it's

325

:

probably gonna be an a, a dildo package.

326

:

Jesus.

327

:

I've seen more lesbian sex in it

than I ever needed to in my life.

328

:

I know how it's done.

329

:

I don't ever need to see it.

330

:

Well,

331

:

Carissa: well, I guess

I'm missing out then.

332

:

Remember the,

333

:

Shaun: The first episode of Sense eight?

334

:

Oh God, it like opened with the

dildo falling on the ground.

335

:

Oh yeah.

336

:

With the trans, the floor apple.

337

:

Carissa: I don't remember that.

338

:

And I remember that show.

339

:

I

340

:

Shaun: can't remember

the girlfriend's name.

341

:

I can't remember either of

their names, to be honest.

342

:

It starts with an A I know.

343

:

I, yeah, I wanted to call

her like a Amer something.

344

:

Peter: Yeah, it's not a mtt

That was from 13 Reasons Why.

345

:

But yeah the girl is having sex

with the trans woman and then she

346

:

pulls off the strap on and tosses

it on the floor after they finish

347

:

and is like juices all over it.

348

:

Carissa: Oh, that sounds like

a great beginning to a show.

349

:

Peter: Yeah, it

350

:

Carissa: was a good

351

:

Peter: introduction, guys.

352

:

Shaun: I just posted something about

that show on our Facebook group.

353

:

That show was

354

:

Peter: raunchy, but it

355

:

Shaun: was great in all the wrong ways.

356

:

Carissa: Maybe I'm

thinking of the wrong show.

357

:

Shaun: It's the one where they're all like

mentally connected across the countries.

358

:

Carissa: Okay.

359

:

Yes, I am thinking of the right show.

360

:

I remember this show, but I

don't remember that scene.

361

:

Shaun: Yeah, it was like

one of the very first

362

:

Peter: few scenes in the, every time

they have sex, they, one of 'em has sex.

363

:

They all mentally have sex together.

364

:

Oh, they all do.

365

:

Okay.

366

:

Carissa: I remember this.

367

:

Okay.

368

:

Might have to re-watch this.

369

:

This is interesting.

370

:

Could you imagine, could you imagine

though be con being connected to that

371

:

many people mentally and when somebody is

doing one thing, everybody has to do it.

372

:

Yeah.

373

:

Shaun: With my luck, it would be when I'm

in the middle of some kind of important

374

:

meeting at work and then all of a sudden

my eyes roll to the back of my head.

375

:

Yeah.

376

:

And Marjorie Taylor

Greene's there, right where

377

:

Carissa: I'm teaching, I'm teaching

an exercise class, and all of a

378

:

sudden I have to leave the room.

379

:

Boom.

380

:

Peter: Boom.

381

:

Donald Trump's face with

his orange mushroom.

382

:

Oh.

383

:

Foot.

384

:

Carissa: Ugh,

385

:

Peter: that's terrible.

386

:

So now that we know what

Dorking is listen, dorking

387

:

is not just about the flop.

388

:

It's a lifestyle.

389

:

It is not a lifestyle.

390

:

It is an assault.

391

:

I feel like I need to

call human resources.

392

:

It's an

393

:

Shaun: assault.

394

:

Think of it as the gay answer

to CrossFit, pointless, painful,

395

:

and somehow community building.

396

:

Peter: No, I don't, I don't see it.

397

:

It's gross.

398

:

You shouldn't open up your TikTok

or whatever you're watching and see

399

:

someone's peeing flopping at you

and you're just like, ah, stunned.

400

:

As if it was in the room

hitting you in the forehead.

401

:

Carissa: You do realize now that we've

all discussed this, that our phones

402

:

are gonna all search that algorithm

when we go on our four year page.

403

:

Peter: Yeah.

404

:

Probably.

405

:

We're fucked.

406

:

It's there already for me.

407

:

Jesus.

408

:

I don't need to see it.

409

:

What do you

410

:

Carissa: watch on your, for you?

411

:

I

412

:

Peter: don't watch like anything

that you shouldn't see comes up on.

413

:

That's it.

414

:

Carissa: They just think

you're a raunchy person.

415

:

Peter: Yeah, apparently.

416

:

I mean, I watch some of this stuff

not for, it's for scientific purposes.

417

:

Yeah.

418

:

It's always for science, it's the voices.

419

:

Sometimes you're enthralled by looking

at this, but it's not for anything good.

420

:

You're just like, oh, I hope

that falls off, or I hope

421

:

they get hit with something.

422

:

Carissa: Can I tell you something

that I get wrapped up in all the time?

423

:

Peter: Porn.

424

:

It's

425

:

Carissa: a secret hidden pleasure

426

:

Peter: Porn.

427

:

Carissa: I don't need porn.

428

:

I, my life is porn.

429

:

But anyways

430

:

the eating videos, like those

people that eat tons of food.

431

:

Oh,

432

:

Peter: the mockings.

433

:

Ooh.

434

:

Carissa: That, no.

435

:

Yeah, that, but also there's

like American people that do it.

436

:

They go all around the world

to these restaurants and they

437

:

do their food challenges.

438

:

Peter: Oh yeah, I've seen that.

439

:

It's a

440

:

Carissa: couple.

441

:

It's a guy and a girl, and they do the

eating challenges at all these places.

442

:

And this girl's gotta be

150 pounds soaking wet.

443

:

She shredded and she just devours

like fucking piles of food.

444

:

It's disgusting, but I

can't help but watch it.

445

:

It is gross.

446

:

Peter: She eats like an

American everywhere she goes.

447

:

Carissa: Yes.

448

:

Shaun: Before we, we venture

away from the topic of twerking.

449

:

I just wanna give you guys a fun fact.

450

:

In 2025, a study found that 87% of gay

men have filmed themselves twerking.

451

:

Peter: Okay.

452

:

It's believable.

453

:

Shaun: And 100% have watched at least one

flop compilation before breakfast last.

454

:

Believable.

455

:

Peter: I always like,

when I see it, I flick.

456

:

I can't.

457

:

But you've seen it.

458

:

Yeah, but I didn't watch it for science.

459

:

Peter.

460

:

For science?

461

:

Yeah, for science.

462

:

How many tiktoks can I see

before I'm absolutely disgusted.

463

:

It only takes three seconds.

464

:

There's, but

465

:

Carissa: you're gonna have

so many notes for science.

466

:

There's one that

467

:

Shaun: constantly comes up

on my TikTok and Instagram.

468

:

It's these two guys.

469

:

One is a, the guy's, the gay guy's,

straight best friend, and they

470

:

are in like cheerleading skirts.

471

:

Ah, and they're doing it.

472

:

Peter: Yeah.

473

:

You, you've seen them,

the Australian guys?

474

:

Yeah.

475

:

Yeah.

476

:

One of them straight.

477

:

And one of them is gay and it,

they just, they do the Rancho

478

:

Cucamonga one from Bring it on.

479

:

And they're dancing and then they do

the one from William McKinley from Glee.

480

:

And they do, when Santana

NAIA Rera everyone do the, I

481

:

say a little print for you.

482

:

Oh yeah.

483

:

Yeah.

484

:

That dance.

485

:

But he's so gay.

486

:

The straight one is so gay.

487

:

Shaun: Yeah.

488

:

Peter: He's so feminine.

489

:

It's so good though.

490

:

You should watch it.

491

:

Shaun: I have to check it out.

492

:

Wait, so the more masculine

looking one is the gay one.

493

:

The blonde one?

494

:

Really?

495

:

I thought it was the other way.

496

:

No, the blonde one is, huh?

497

:

Carissa: Strange how that works.

498

:

Peter: Yeah.

499

:

I feel bad for him though.

500

:

'cause he has like really bad skin.

501

:

But it was because he was

a habitual drug user there.

502

:

So he has the craters and now he's silver.

503

:

Carissa: Ugh.

504

:

Peter: But I like when he talks,

but he seems like a douche.

505

:

We're not judgy, are we?

506

:

He.

507

:

Okay.

508

:

So when you think of

Australia, what do you think?

509

:

Like the men, what's your,

what do they do for a hobby?

510

:

Surf?

511

:

No, I don't know.

512

:

I think that's like the

513

:

Shaun: stereotype.

514

:

That's not necessarily what I think.

515

:

Carissa: Well, I'm gonna

go real stereotypical here.

516

:

They're hunting kangaroos.

517

:

Oh my god.

518

:

That's racist Chris.

519

:

Peter: Not stereotypical.

520

:

All I think

521

:

Carissa: of what I hear,

Australia's kangaroos.

522

:

Peter: Yeah.

523

:

Carissa: Fighting people.

524

:

Peter: So Sean had it right.

525

:

He's a surfer, but he looks

like your typical surfer.

526

:

And I don't know how a shark hasn't

eaten him just to fucking get rid of him.

527

:

Oh my God.

528

:

But anyway, back to

real life marking thing.

529

:

I can't, sorry.

530

:

I feel like it's gonna hit me in the eye.

531

:

Yes.

532

:

That's just me.

533

:

Carissa: Stay away from the screen.

534

:

Peter: Do they do this

for money on OnlyFans?

535

:

Yes.

536

:

Carissa: What?

537

:

Really?

538

:

Mm-hmm.

539

:

Peter: Yes.

540

:

And people pay for

541

:

Shaun: this.

542

:

Yes.

543

:

Carissa: What the fuck am I doing?

544

:

Shaun: So let's play a game.

545

:

I need to

546

:

Carissa: strap it on and fucking D work.

547

:

Shaun: Let's play a little game.

548

:

Carissa: Imagine.

549

:

Let's see how much money I can make.

550

:

Should we do it?

551

:

Shaun: Wow.

552

:

Yeah.

553

:

You should do a challenge.

554

:

Carissa: I'm not, let's do a challenge.

555

:

Sure.

556

:

I'm not kidding.

557

:

So here's the challenge.

558

:

Okay?

559

:

I'm gonna create an OnlyFans account and

I'm gonna get a, the biggest strap on

560

:

I can find, and I'm gonna put on gray

sweatpants, and I'm just gonna drk for

561

:

hours on end and see how much I can make.

562

:

Shaun: Yes.

563

:

I'm not joking.

564

:

Sounds exhausting.

565

:

Carissa: This is, yeah, for science.

566

:

For science,

567

:

Peter: exactly.

568

:

It's

569

:

Carissa: good cardio.

570

:

Peter: And she gets like one that's

down to her knees and it hits her

571

:

in the face and knocks her out.

572

:

People will pay for that.

573

:

If you can dream it.

574

:

There's a market for it.

575

:

Audi only it.

576

:

All right, ready.

577

:

Here's

578

:

Carissa: the goal.

579

:

Four weeks, six pack.

580

:

Oh my God.

581

:

I'm gonna shredded.

582

:

Yeah, I'm be shredded.

583

:

Peter: You got this, Sean,

you should do it too.

584

:

Go do it.

585

:

Thanks.

586

:

Mainly because I need more

money to spend in Europe

587

:

and you know how to suppress it, 'cause

you, that's what you do for a job.

588

:

Shaun: Well, listen, suppressing

it won't help us make money.

589

:

Peter: No.

590

:

Suppressing it so that

you don't get fired.

591

:

Make sure you build up

enough of a following.

592

:

So you can just do that recreationally.

593

:

Shaun: All right, let's play a game.

594

:

Is this a drk or work?

595

:

So you're guessing whether the title

that I'm gonna read to you is a job

596

:

posting title or a twerking video.

597

:

I didn't

598

:

Peter: know they had names.

599

:

Me either.

600

:

Shaun: Okay.

601

:

Peter: Mm-hmm.

602

:

Moisture extraction specialist.

603

:

Carissa: That's drk.

604

:

Peter: That sounds like you

need to go to an aesthetician.

605

:

Ding.

606

:

I guess that's a real job.

607

:

Carissa: Get the fuck outta here.

608

:

What moisture are they testing for?

609

:

For

610

:

Shaun: a towel washer?

611

:

Where are they

612

:

Peter: taking

613

:

Shaun: it from?

614

:

Carissa: What is happening?

615

:

Shaun: It's for a towel washer.

616

:

Ew.

617

:

Carissa: Ew.

618

:

Shaun: That's gross.

619

:

Keep your fucking job

plumber lays massive pipe.

620

:

That sounds like a

621

:

Peter: porno.

622

:

Carissa: Yeah, that

does sound like a porno.

623

:

I think I actually saw it

poured with that name before.

624

:

Peter: That's a D work

video for all these fans.

625

:

Carissa: Oh my God.

626

:

Peter: Massive pipe.

627

:

If you have to tell people that your

dick is massive, it's probably not.

628

:

Say executive meat

629

:

Shaun: handler.

630

:

Carissa: That's definitely work.

631

:

Shaun: That's a butcher.

632

:

Yes.

633

:

Sounds disgusting, but it's

a real butcher listing.

634

:

Carissa: Beat handler,

635

:

Peter: sexy.

636

:

I would

637

:

Carissa: never want that to be my title.

638

:

Peter: You should see some of these

pornos, like what they name them.

639

:

Clock in, cock out.

640

:

That sounds like a porn.

641

:

That's a porn.

642

:

He's clocking in with his cock.

643

:

Yes.

644

:

Oh my

645

:

Carissa: God.

646

:

Yeah.

647

:

He's fucking smacking it

right at the clock in.

648

:

He is ing right at it.

649

:

Peter: It's got a dick print.

650

:

Not even like the fingerprint scatter.

651

:

That sounds painful.

652

:

Carissa: Thank God.

653

:

There's hand sanitizer.

654

:

The time clocks at my job.

655

:

Why?

656

:

You're just gonna hit dicks

657

:

Peter: against it.

658

:

Do hand's a fingerprint.

659

:

Hand sanitizer.

660

:

There's a clit one for the women.

661

:

This is ridiculous.

662

:

You have to bend over and

then push up against it.

663

:

Oh.

664

:

Why would you bend over?

665

:

I don't know.

666

:

I'm confused.

667

:

Wait, why wait.

668

:

The is in the top right.

669

:

I'm wrong.

670

:

You're old.

671

:

Well, you have clearly never seen a

672

:

Shaun: vagina.

673

:

Peter: I've seen them.

674

:

I have no incentive to touch them.

675

:

Carissa: It's like a pearl.

676

:

It's at the top.

677

:

Yeah.

678

:

See, I was right.

679

:

Peter: I know.

680

:

Anatomy

681

:

Carissa: so good in health.

682

:

Class's

683

:

Peter: a button.

684

:

Carissa: Speaking of health class,

you remember having to fill out the

685

:

different parts of the PTUs of the vagina?

686

:

Yeah.

687

:

Like the, the scientific

terms totally failed.

688

:

The male one got a hundred on the female.

689

:

One should have known,

690

:

Peter: should have known, should

691

:

Carissa: have known.

692

:

Peter: Chris is just like,

there's a button there.

693

:

Carissa: Button.

694

:

This button is the one I

wanna push all the time.

695

:

Shaun: All right.

696

:

Chicken Nugget Ambassador.

697

:

Carissa: What the fuck

698

:

Shaun: is that?

699

:

An Asian one.

700

:

Carissa: That's a drk.

701

:

Shaun: That's a drk.

702

:

It's a weird McDonald's promo job

done by an Asian with a small,

703

:

Peter: small pen.

704

:

All right, last one.

705

:

A told on rear rewind.

706

:

Common misconception.

707

:

Not all Asian men have tiny pens.

708

:

Please go ahead.

709

:

Professional lap sitter.

710

:

That sounds like a woman

who is doing a night job.

711

:

Carissa: I don't know.

712

:

I feel like that could be twerking.

713

:

Peter: It's

714

:

Shaun: a drk.

715

:

It's both, I think Santa at the mall and

also a certain sub genre on OnlyFans.

716

:

Peter: Oh my God.

717

:

Do they pay people to sit on laps?

718

:

Apparently.

719

:

Carissa: What the fuck am I doing?

720

:

Working a nine to five?

721

:

Yeah.

722

:

Shaun: Yeah.

723

:

Think about this.

724

:

I

725

:

Carissa: could put be Santa.

726

:

Shaun: There are literally 12 year olds

getting paid to play video games online

727

:

and we are getting up every day and

clocking in and doing a nine to five.

728

:

Carissa: Wow.

729

:

Peter: So I wanna say side note, we

will have an OnlyFans creator coming

730

:

on so we can ask these questions.

731

:

However, what professional lap sitter,

732

:

Carissa: I'm taking notes.

733

:

Peter: Yeah, I know there

are professional cuddlers.

734

:

Carissa: I'm going into a new profession.

735

:

Oh, I knew there were

professional cuddlers.

736

:

I've seen that before.

737

:

Online.

738

:

Peter: But you can't

too though, on OnlyFans.

739

:

Or maybe you can, I dont know.

740

:

Maybe you can

741

:

Shaun: listen.

742

:

There are people who I don't wanna be

touched, subscribe to watch girls sleep.

743

:

That serial

744

:

Peter: killer

745

:

Carissa: status.

746

:

That's creepy shit.

747

:

Shaun: There's girls who will,

they'll go on and I'm sure

748

:

there are guys that do it too.

749

:

But I've heard about the women who do it.

750

:

They'll go, they'll film themselves.

751

:

They go to bed and like

people just watch them sleep.

752

:

They, the camera rolls as they sleep.

753

:

Peter: The camera rolls as the

murderer comes into the house

754

:

because he knows you're sleeping

'cause you're live streaming this.

755

:

Why do nobody, why does no

one think of these things?

756

:

People are insane.

757

:

Why the fuck do you do this for money?

758

:

How many locks do you have on their door?

759

:

So many questions.

760

:

So many questions.

761

:

How fucking dumb can you be anyway?

762

:

That's weird.

763

:

How much do they pay?

764

:

I'm interested.

765

:

I don't know.

766

:

I have you there.

767

:

That was, that was

768

:

Carissa: like 20 questions

in less than 30 seconds.

769

:

Shaun: Yeah, that was a lot.

770

:

Carissa: I can't answer all of those.

771

:

Which

772

:

Shaun: one should I answer first?

773

:

How much do they pay?

774

:

That's all we we're concerned with.

775

:

Carissa: That's the most important one.

776

:

Yes.

777

:

Money,

778

:

Peter: money.

779

:

Money.

780

:

Money must be funny.

781

:

Anyway.

782

:

Certified in workers world.

783

:

How the fuck, how much

you should find that out.

784

:

How much do they pay?

785

:

Carissa: How much On

OnlyFans or just in general?

786

:

Peter: How much do they pay

to watch someone sleep on

787

:

OnlyFans or is it on OnlyFans?

788

:

I don't know.

789

:

I'm gonna look it up.

790

:

Carissa: I knew he was looking this up.

791

:

Peter: Yeah that, I wanna know because I

could sleep, I could do, I could do that.

792

:

Peter's

793

:

Carissa: ready to start new professions.

794

:

Yes.

795

:

Peter: I could sleep in whatever outfit.

796

:

You might see sweat, but I

will sleep in whatever outfit.

797

:

No, no.

798

:

Dirty Maid, no.

799

:

Good.

800

:

Carissa: He's taking it to

a whole nother level here.

801

:

He's thinking about outfits.

802

:

Peter: Yeah.

803

:

You know that it's all in the outfit.

804

:

That's how you make the more

content, because people get bored

805

:

of just looking at you, so you have

to put on pasties or something.

806

:

All right.

807

:

Or

808

:

Carissa: dinosaur onesie.

809

:

I've got the,

810

:

Peter: oh

811

:

Shaun: my God, I've, oh my God.

812

:

I can't even believe this.

813

:

All right.

814

:

If you're wondering, how much

does it cost to subscribe to

815

:

watch someone sleep online?

816

:

Twitch subscriptions, depending on

tier, are around 4 99, 9 99 or 24 99

817

:

a month, depending on the streamers

setting and Twitch tiers setting.

818

:

Mm-hmm.

819

:

Like they sat on a cake first.

820

:

No.

821

:

Setting.

822

:

Like they're I'm, I don't know

if that's like their, like the

823

:

setting that they're sleeping in

or the setting of their profile.

824

:

'cause it doesn't

825

:

Peter: skate.

826

:

That's where I was going with this.

827

:

The setting that they're sleeping in.

828

:

Yeah.

829

:

I think that's what they're talking about.

830

:

Oh, they're sleeping on a big, fat

Chinese guy so that pays more, right?

831

:

Probably.

832

:

Okay.

833

:

Sleep.

834

:

Carissa: Sleep in a dungeon.

835

:

Peter: Okay.

836

:

There's more with a

blowup doll next to you.

837

:

That could be fun.

838

:

Ah, see there's more.

839

:

1599.

840

:

Carissa: That's great.

841

:

Peter: A minute

842

:

Shaun: Leap.

843

:

Streamers can earn substantial

income, not just from subscriptions.

844

:

But through donated gifts and subscriber

inflation during these broadcasts,

845

:

Peter: so the currency exchange

846

:

Shaun: and gifts, and on TikTok, they

do it as well and they get gifted.

847

:

These gifts range from 50 cents to $600.

848

:

Peter: Go to bed.

849

:

Go to bed.

850

:

I'll set up the camera and

then I'll leave the room.

851

:

Go to bed.

852

:

Perfect.

853

:

Okay.

854

:

And I'm

855

:

Carissa: gonna quit my job.

856

:

Yes.

857

:

TikTok excellent.

858

:

Takes about, we'll split the

earnings, 50% commission,

859

:

Shaun: but despite the cut boem

I could be saying that wrong.

860

:

Reportedly, pulls in

around $50,000 per month.

861

:

Carissa: All right.

862

:

Get the cameras.

863

:

I'm sold.

864

:

Peter: That's terrible.

865

:

How the fuck can we, no, I could make

some good noises while I'm sleeping.

866

:

The best platforms to do this on

867

:

Shaun: are

868

:

Peter: Twitch

869

:

Shaun: and TikTok.

870

:

Peter: Oh my gosh.

871

:

How do you do it on TikTok?

872

:

On live?

873

:

TikTok Live.

874

:

How long does that last though?

875

:

I have no idea.

876

:

I don't know if you can do a live

that long hours and you have to

877

:

Carissa: have so many followers

to do a live I know that.

878

:

Peter: Yeah.

879

:

That's weird.

880

:

I don't know which.

881

:

Yeah.

882

:

'cause

883

:

Shaun: it says live gif so it has

to be I know that like certain

884

:

profiles are running lives all day.

885

:

The ones, the people who, they scoop

the stuff out of the butter boxes.

886

:

No they have the big bowl thing that

like shakes the stones and crystals

887

:

around and then they scoop, they put

the scoop in and whatever they pull

888

:

out, the person that they've called

their name gets, or like the people who

889

:

sell the bags or the hair extensions on

there, they'll be running live showing

890

:

the different things all day long.

891

:

Peter: How am I missing this?

892

:

What are these crystals?

893

:

The questions are starting, I guess.

894

:

Shaun: Sorry.

895

:

Like the the healing crystals in.

896

:

The jade

897

:

Peter: eggs and the jade eggs.

898

:

Yeah.

899

:

Where do straight men shove those jade

eggs for their healing up the poop Shoot.

900

:

Yeah.

901

:

Probably stay outta my

902

:

Carissa: ER

903

:

Peter: nurse, Rachel.

904

:

Carissa: Stop giving people ideas.

905

:

Peter: I don't need to give them ideas.

906

:

Straight men shove things

in their ass all the time.

907

:

They do.

908

:

Well, let's heard, I've

heard this put things in all

909

:

Shaun: different places.

910

:

What about the guy I sent

that put the incense?

911

:

Peter: Did he want it to smell fresh?

912

:

Shaun: He wanted his pee to smell better.

913

:

How does that work?

914

:

What

915

:

Carissa: the fuck?

916

:

How does that work?

917

:

He put

918

:

Shaun: incense in his pee hole and let

it burn down to, ah, that sounds awful.

919

:

In hopes that it would

make his pee smell better.

920

:

Do

921

:

Peter: what the, wow.

922

:

Shaun: This is one of the

nurse Rachel videos I sent

923

:

Peter: in Jack's Listerine.

924

:

It sounds less painful.

925

:

Oh my god.

926

:

Shaun: I don't know.

927

:

That sounds pretty painful too, but

I don't think I would do either.

928

:

Peter: You guys are people that get.

929

:

For all of you people out there who have

never had gonorrhea, I am one of you.

930

:

'cause I've never had it.

931

:

However, I know what they do

to test it, and they shove this

932

:

cotton swab in your pee hole.

933

:

Oh yeah.

934

:

So imagine shoving a fucking Tinder

piece in your pee hole and then

935

:

letting it burn down to ash so

you're freaking pee smells better.

936

:

Carissa: Who the fuck thinks to do that?

937

:

Peter: Where's the logic?

938

:

Idiot idiot.

939

:

Carissa: There's none.

940

:

There's none.

941

:

Peter: Your smelling burnt flesh

because the ash gets there and

942

:

then it burns your fucking reha.

943

:

Shaun: Oh my God.

944

:

Peter: I don't understand.

945

:

Like the logic isn't logic for me.

946

:

There's

947

:

Carissa: no fucking logic.

948

:

Peter: None whatsoever.

949

:

My brain tries to justify these

actions and it's just this one,

950

:

it's like, uh, does not compute.

951

:

I'm trying to protect you

straight men from yourself.

952

:

Yeah, find the button.

953

:

Find the button.

954

:

I feel like

955

:

Carissa: straight men just do

dumb things when they drink too.

956

:

Peter: Well that's a given.

957

:

Yes.

958

:

Yeah.

959

:

So

960

:

Carissa: that might've been something

that happened along those lines, but do

961

:

Peter: you notice that straight

men get loaded and then they

962

:

start playing with their asshole?

963

:

Like just do it.

964

:

Yes.

965

:

Carissa: They shoot

fireworks outta their ass.

966

:

Yeah, just I've seen that.

967

:

Just when you're

968

:

Peter: sober, you don't

need the liquid courage.

969

:

Just touch yourself.

970

:

Anyway, moving on.

971

:

Shaun: Let's talk a little bit about work.

972

:

Work sucks.

973

:

I know, but did you know that

the average person spends 90,000

974

:

hours at work in their lifetime?

975

:

Carissa: It's depressing.

976

:

Shaun: Are they

977

:

Peter: sleeping?

978

:

Are they streaming it?

979

:

Carissa: If they're sleeping on

OnlyFans, that's, it's 90,000

980

:

Peter: to work.

981

:

Ew.

982

:

If you sleep for 90,000 hours

on OnlyFans, do you realize how

983

:

much money you've just made?

984

:

Yeah.

985

:

Do you realize it's a lot of

money just sleep for the 90,000?

986

:

Meditate.

987

:

Be like one of those the

Buddhas that, not Buddha.

988

:

Oh, the monks.

989

:

The monks that like hibernate

in the tree for 90,000 happens.

990

:

Yeah.

991

:

Oh my god.

992

:

That sounds awful.

993

:

Carissa: Do they eat?

994

:

Peter: Allegedly they don't.

995

:

But there was this one that

it was like a young kid.

996

:

They were thinking he was a prophet and

he was said that he was gonna sleep in the

997

:

tree for a year and he was gonna meditate

and he was in the tree for a year.

998

:

But at night the monks would

come and bring him food.

999

:

Oh my God.

:

00:31:21,074 --> 00:31:21,524

That's funny.

:

00:31:21,524 --> 00:31:22,094

Interesting.

:

00:31:23,054 --> 00:31:26,654

So he did it just like in the

morning they would go back and

:

00:31:26,864 --> 00:31:27,884

Carissa: were they silent monks?

:

00:31:29,024 --> 00:31:29,594

Peter: I guess

:

00:31:29,594 --> 00:31:30,944

Carissa: I need to know

how they cue the food.

:

00:31:32,209 --> 00:31:32,709

The bell.

:

00:31:33,309 --> 00:31:34,784

Peter: I don't think it works that way.

:

00:31:34,784 --> 00:31:36,404

You can make noise when you're chewing.

:

00:31:38,684 --> 00:31:40,274

Or they just eat a lot of noodles.

:

00:31:41,054 --> 00:31:42,974

Carissa: He's just making

hand signals up in the tree.

:

00:31:43,274 --> 00:31:45,374

They're not allowed to slur

in the shape of a burger.

:

00:31:48,209 --> 00:31:48,429

No,

:

00:31:48,429 --> 00:31:49,844

Peter: no, no, no.

:

00:31:50,294 --> 00:31:51,044

We're going to hell.

:

00:31:51,104 --> 00:31:52,904

Yes, absolutely.

:

00:31:54,264 --> 00:31:55,304

Shaun: 90,000 hours.

:

00:31:55,454 --> 00:31:56,464

Fuck that noise.

:

00:31:56,464 --> 00:31:57,064

90,000

:

00:31:57,064 --> 00:31:58,459

Carissa: hours is miserable.

:

00:31:58,519 --> 00:32:01,159

Shaun: Listen, like I said, work sucks.

:

00:32:01,249 --> 00:32:06,619

Everyone's job is feeling pretty toxic

these days, so if you can't quit, just

:

00:32:06,619 --> 00:32:09,499

work at your desk and hope that HR is gay.

:

00:32:09,619 --> 00:32:11,539

Or if you're a woman,

hope they're a lesbian.

:

00:32:12,919 --> 00:32:14,509

Peter: I feel like the

vice versa lesbian would be

:

00:32:14,509 --> 00:32:16,429

Shaun: apt to report you to hr.

:

00:32:16,849 --> 00:32:16,999

Yes.

:

00:32:16,999 --> 00:32:17,179

No.

:

00:32:17,179 --> 00:32:19,969

If they are HR though, just

hope that they liked it.

:

00:32:21,499 --> 00:32:23,359

Peter: But if they're a lesbian,

I don't think they would.

:

00:32:23,959 --> 00:32:26,779

Shaun: If lesbians are doing it, oh yeah.

:

00:32:26,779 --> 00:32:27,559

If it's a lesbian

:

00:32:27,559 --> 00:32:29,449

Carissa: doing it to

another lesbian, then maybe.

:

00:32:30,019 --> 00:32:31,094

Peter: Is that like a mating call?

:

00:32:31,879 --> 00:32:32,569

Carissa: I guess

:

00:32:33,499 --> 00:32:37,039

Shaun: is that like aggressively making

out in the lighting aisle of Home Depot?

:

00:32:37,939 --> 00:32:39,259

Carissa: That doesn't

sound like fun at all.

:

00:32:39,774 --> 00:32:43,579

No, it does sound like a

lesbian stereotype, but it

:

00:32:43,579 --> 00:32:44,839

doesn't sound fun to me at all.

:

00:32:46,729 --> 00:32:48,709

Oh my God, babe, look at these lights.

:

00:32:48,709 --> 00:32:49,399

Let's make out,

:

00:32:53,024 --> 00:32:55,004

Peter: That sounds like

something lesbians would do.

:

00:32:55,244 --> 00:32:57,764

Pick out a light fixture and

then they're like, oh my God,

:

00:32:57,974 --> 00:32:59,654

you look so good in this light.

:

00:33:00,749 --> 00:33:01,394

Carissa: So good in this light.

:

00:33:01,394 --> 00:33:02,264

That's actually a good,

:

00:33:02,414 --> 00:33:02,624

Peter: that's

:

00:33:02,624 --> 00:33:03,104

Carissa: actually a good

:

00:33:03,104 --> 00:33:03,584

Peter: point.

:

00:33:04,004 --> 00:33:04,304

Yeah.

:

00:33:04,304 --> 00:33:07,724

See, so don't judge yourself anyway.

:

00:33:07,724 --> 00:33:11,594

90,000 hours, that's

246 days of your life.

:

00:33:13,574 --> 00:33:14,624

246.

:

00:33:15,044 --> 00:33:15,854

Shaun: That doesn't sound right.

:

00:33:15,854 --> 00:33:17,534

That sounds like it's not enough.

:

00:33:17,564 --> 00:33:19,904

90,000 divided by 365.

:

00:33:19,904 --> 00:33:23,024

No, I'm saying it, I'm saying

that maybe the 90,000 hours is

:

00:33:23,024 --> 00:33:24,584

not the right number because

:

00:33:24,639 --> 00:33:25,769

Peter: no, I did the math wrong.

:

00:33:25,769 --> 00:33:27,359

The math is not math in correctly.

:

00:33:27,359 --> 00:33:30,149

I'm stupid and I've been

drinking, so please continue.

:

00:33:32,279 --> 00:33:32,714

Carissa: No more math.

:

00:33:32,714 --> 00:33:32,994

Well,

:

00:33:34,144 --> 00:33:39,489

Shaun: Carissa, do you have any like

desk exercise type things that people

:

00:33:39,489 --> 00:33:45,739

can do if they are not, if they're

not able to just do something to get

:

00:33:45,739 --> 00:33:47,839

themselves moving during the day?

:

00:33:48,109 --> 00:33:48,859

Carissa: Squats.

:

00:33:49,279 --> 00:33:50,179

Shaun: Squats

:

00:33:50,239 --> 00:33:53,299

Carissa: pushups on the side of your

desk, which I don't know why anybody

:

00:33:53,299 --> 00:33:54,859

would do that, but I've done it.

:

00:33:56,119 --> 00:33:56,809

Peter: Can you imagine it?

:

00:33:56,869 --> 00:33:58,249

The sturdiness of your desk?

:

00:33:58,249 --> 00:34:00,409

Like the cubicle, you just

take out your friend's cube.

:

00:34:00,679 --> 00:34:01,339

Carissa: It happened.

:

00:34:02,449 --> 00:34:02,499

Oh my God.

:

00:34:02,599 --> 00:34:06,229

I didn't take out the cube, but the whole

thing shifted when I was like, oh fuck.

:

00:34:06,949 --> 00:34:08,329

Shaun: Like this is not a good idea.

:

00:34:09,438 --> 00:34:09,949

You go to the other side to even

:

00:34:10,759 --> 00:34:12,889

Carissa: it out, the person on the

other side goes, Hey, what's happening?

:

00:34:12,889 --> 00:34:13,248

You okay?

:

00:34:14,059 --> 00:34:15,199

It's an earthquake.

:

00:34:15,619 --> 00:34:16,099

You didn't feel it.

:

00:34:16,103 --> 00:34:17,029

I was like, oh, sorry.

:

00:34:17,029 --> 00:34:19,309

I was just moving something

and I hit the desk.

:

00:34:21,168 --> 00:34:21,904

Peter: Oh my God, my God.

:

00:34:22,069 --> 00:34:23,389

The earth move between us.

:

00:34:25,039 --> 00:34:29,719

So the math, the correct math

because I'm an idiot, is 3,750 days.

:

00:34:30,379 --> 00:34:31,879

Okay, that sounds more accurate.

:

00:34:31,938 --> 00:34:31,969

A

:

00:34:31,969 --> 00:34:33,109

Carissa: lot of fucking days.

:

00:34:33,139 --> 00:34:33,498

Peter: Yeah.

:

00:34:34,458 --> 00:34:35,899

I can't, no.

:

00:34:36,918 --> 00:34:40,759

Spend at least:

sleeping and filming it,

:

00:34:41,478 --> 00:34:43,309

Carissa: and then it'll be worthwhile.

:

00:34:43,549 --> 00:34:44,329

Peter: Yeah.

:

00:34:44,839 --> 00:34:45,649

So how many.

:

00:34:46,728 --> 00:34:49,279

So you said that it

was $10 a subscription,

:

00:34:49,639 --> 00:34:49,969

Shaun: right?

:

00:34:50,418 --> 00:34:53,809

They varied between 4 99, 9 0.9

:

00:34:53,809 --> 00:34:55,099

and 24 99.

:

00:34:56,509 --> 00:34:56,869

Peter: Okay.

:

00:34:57,679 --> 00:35:02,029

So if you multiply this, 'cause you're

gonna make that money every single day.

:

00:35:02,269 --> 00:35:04,729

Carissa: Just so everybody knows

Peter's over here, Madea it.

:

00:35:04,729 --> 00:35:06,619

Like on a calculator with one head

:

00:35:06,794 --> 00:35:07,404

Peter: Woohoohoo,

:

00:35:07,824 --> 00:35:08,484

Carissa: he hits you.

:

00:35:10,744 --> 00:35:16,769

Peter: So if you multiply that by 10,

that's your amount of subscription per No.

:

00:35:16,774 --> 00:35:17,584

Per person.

:

00:35:17,614 --> 00:35:18,454

Yeah, per person.

:

00:35:18,454 --> 00:35:18,724

Think about it per

:

00:35:18,724 --> 00:35:19,264

Carissa: person.

:

00:35:19,264 --> 00:35:22,174

If you have five people

paying the minimum and that's

:

00:35:22,174 --> 00:35:22,864

Shaun: every month.

:

00:35:23,014 --> 00:35:24,274

Carissa: And that's every month?

:

00:35:24,874 --> 00:35:25,234

Shaun: Yeah.

:

00:35:26,344 --> 00:35:27,184

It's not like a one

:

00:35:27,184 --> 00:35:31,924

Peter: time fee that's

$37,000 a fucking month.

:

00:35:31,929 --> 00:35:32,129

Yeah.

:

00:35:32,129 --> 00:35:33,009

What the the fuck are we doing?

:

00:35:33,009 --> 00:35:33,274

That's what I was saying.

:

00:35:33,274 --> 00:35:35,224

Shaun: That guy, the, I

don't, I think it's a guy.

:

00:35:35,224 --> 00:35:40,294

'cause I think it says Jakey

was Jakey Boem or Bo, I don't

:

00:35:40,294 --> 00:35:41,074

know how to say jacking.

:

00:35:41,074 --> 00:35:41,434

Who,

:

00:35:41,494 --> 00:35:41,974

Peter: what?

:

00:35:42,514 --> 00:35:43,534

Shaun: I don't know

how to say their names.

:

00:35:43,534 --> 00:35:50,144

Sorry to anyone who watches them sleep,

but they pull in about $50,000 per month.

:

00:35:50,924 --> 00:35:53,294

That's that's how much

some people make in a year.

:

00:35:54,049 --> 00:35:54,339

Peter: Yeah.

:

00:35:54,344 --> 00:35:54,854

Yeah.

:

00:35:54,854 --> 00:35:55,634

Carissa: That's crazy.

:

00:35:55,784 --> 00:35:58,259

Peter: These Gen Zs got it

figured out with the frigging

:

00:35:58,724 --> 00:36:00,674

the crazy shit that people watch.

:

00:36:00,674 --> 00:36:03,584

Like you saw the one where the,

they're selling feet pics, their

:

00:36:03,584 --> 00:36:06,314

mother's feet pics and then they

buy her a brand new My book.

:

00:36:06,524 --> 00:36:07,604

Carissa: Oh yeah, I saw that.

:

00:36:07,794 --> 00:36:10,254

Peter: Shit, we're in the wrong business.

:

00:36:10,254 --> 00:36:11,154

My feet are pretty.

:

00:36:12,564 --> 00:36:14,394

Carissa: Oh, you better

start selling feet pics

:

00:36:14,574 --> 00:36:15,744

Peter: and no one wants to see that.

:

00:36:16,314 --> 00:36:19,314

Just said they were pretty, they

are pretty, they're pretty than me.

:

00:36:19,314 --> 00:36:21,444

And then they show 'em, then

they look like Marjorie Taylor

:

00:36:21,444 --> 00:36:22,584

Green's feet, the fucking Oh.

:

00:36:24,084 --> 00:36:25,764

Where they're all high

fiving at the same time.

:

00:36:27,174 --> 00:36:29,754

Cite feet, look up M GT's feet.

:

00:36:29,814 --> 00:36:31,254

If you guys have not seen that,

:

00:36:31,314 --> 00:36:32,484

Carissa: why does he have ugly feet?

:

00:36:32,634 --> 00:36:34,164

She, Marjorie Taylor Greene.

:

00:36:34,314 --> 00:36:34,824

Oh, sorry.

:

00:36:35,154 --> 00:36:36,654

Peter: That fucking human Shrek thing.

:

00:36:36,654 --> 00:36:36,894

I don't

:

00:36:36,894 --> 00:36:39,724

Carissa: know why my brain

computed MGK when you said that.

:

00:36:41,074 --> 00:36:43,024

Peter: I don't think I'd

wanna see his feet either.

:

00:36:43,894 --> 00:36:47,404

I'm just saying I'm not a fit

person, a foot person, but

:

00:36:47,404 --> 00:36:48,634

I don't wanna see his feet.

:

00:36:48,994 --> 00:36:49,384

Shaun: Yeah.

:

00:36:49,384 --> 00:36:51,544

I'm not really into the

whole foot thing myself.

:

00:36:51,544 --> 00:36:52,149

He dws.

:

00:36:52,414 --> 00:36:53,074

He twerks.

:

00:36:53,464 --> 00:36:55,114

Oh, that's a good example of who?

:

00:36:55,114 --> 00:36:57,184

Drk bad bunny DWS on stage.

:

00:36:57,184 --> 00:36:57,874

Bad bunny does

:

00:36:57,874 --> 00:36:59,464

Carissa: Drk on stage all the time.

:

00:36:59,524 --> 00:37:01,114

Mm-hmm That needs to stop.

:

00:37:01,114 --> 00:37:02,614

So Alejandro does it too.

:

00:37:03,814 --> 00:37:06,034

Peter: They need to stop so bad.

:

00:37:06,034 --> 00:37:06,424

Bunny.

:

00:37:06,424 --> 00:37:09,994

He is a very attractive man, but that

pee is not big enough to be twerking.

:

00:37:10,044 --> 00:37:12,684

Shaun: In the video I saw it looked

like it was relatively large.

:

00:37:13,404 --> 00:37:13,884

Peter: No.

:

00:37:14,334 --> 00:37:16,284

Carissa: See what Sean's doing

in bed next to you at night.

:

00:37:16,344 --> 00:37:16,854

Yeah, I know.

:

00:37:18,984 --> 00:37:20,304

Peter: You better get been

together for 12 years.

:

00:37:20,304 --> 00:37:22,074

He just watches twerking on repeat.

:

00:37:22,124 --> 00:37:23,564

Carissa: He is waiting

for you to do it for him.

:

00:37:24,224 --> 00:37:24,404

Peter: No,

:

00:37:26,984 --> 00:37:28,754

it's aggressive and unnecessary.

:

00:37:29,629 --> 00:37:32,714

So it's not happening anyway.

:

00:37:32,804 --> 00:37:35,594

No, we'll leave that to the

straight people because that's where

:

00:37:35,594 --> 00:37:38,774

their brain is and they like get

rattled every time they shake it.

:

00:37:39,254 --> 00:37:40,544

Makes 'em feel alive.

:

00:37:40,634 --> 00:37:43,814

Shaun: It's funny because there's a

bunch of straight people that do it too.

:

00:37:44,294 --> 00:37:45,254

There's videos up here.

:

00:37:45,434 --> 00:37:46,814

Wife caught me twerking.

:

00:37:47,924 --> 00:37:48,524

Peter: Why?

:

00:37:48,524 --> 00:37:50,504

And I bet she was enthralled.

:

00:37:53,604 --> 00:37:54,504

Shaun: You know what it makes me think of?

:

00:37:54,504 --> 00:37:56,274

It makes me think of stuff

that we've talked about before.

:

00:37:56,274 --> 00:37:59,994

People who just come out and they flop

their penis from side to side, or they

:

00:37:59,994 --> 00:38:01,314

do the helicopter, helicopter thing.

:

00:38:01,404 --> 00:38:05,514

And that's actually, those are actually

different moves in like the dworking.

:

00:38:05,634 --> 00:38:06,714

Oh my Jesus.

:

00:38:06,834 --> 00:38:07,704

Carissa: Oh Lord.

:

00:38:08,454 --> 00:38:08,964

Peter: World.

:

00:38:09,084 --> 00:38:10,314

Different moves.

:

00:38:10,344 --> 00:38:10,794

Yeah.

:

00:38:11,004 --> 00:38:12,774

As if this is choreographed.

:

00:38:12,894 --> 00:38:14,634

Carissa: Have you ever

helicoptered your things?

:

00:38:14,994 --> 00:38:15,354

Peter: No.

:

00:38:15,354 --> 00:38:15,364

No.

:

00:38:15,459 --> 00:38:16,079

We need to know.

:

00:38:16,459 --> 00:38:17,484

No, not seriously.

:

00:38:17,484 --> 00:38:17,784

Why do

:

00:38:17,784 --> 00:38:18,774

Carissa: people do that?

:

00:38:18,894 --> 00:38:19,764

Peter: I don't know.

:

00:38:19,764 --> 00:38:22,434

No one's like, woo, please spin it for me.

:

00:38:24,294 --> 00:38:24,864

Yeah.

:

00:38:25,914 --> 00:38:28,524

It's actually, it's like a turnoff.

:

00:38:29,004 --> 00:38:31,224

I see it and I'm like, I'm going home.

:

00:38:31,974 --> 00:38:32,274

That's

:

00:38:32,274 --> 00:38:35,724

Carissa: like women swinging

their tits around in circles.

:

00:38:36,099 --> 00:38:40,149

Peter: There is a funny TikTok

that does that music and her

:

00:38:40,199 --> 00:38:41,969

handle is helicopter titties.

:

00:38:41,969 --> 00:38:42,594

Oh my god.

:

00:38:42,594 --> 00:38:43,169

Oh my God.

:

00:38:43,229 --> 00:38:43,979

Oh, I think I've

:

00:38:43,979 --> 00:38:44,519

Shaun: seen that one.

:

00:38:44,519 --> 00:38:44,789

Yeah.

:

00:38:44,789 --> 00:38:44,909

I

:

00:38:44,909 --> 00:38:45,449

Peter: said it to you.

:

00:38:45,449 --> 00:38:47,489

She's always on the bonnet

and the tie dye shirt.

:

00:38:47,699 --> 00:38:48,329

Oh, geez.

:

00:38:48,359 --> 00:38:49,234

You wanna be aggressive?

:

00:38:49,234 --> 00:38:49,554

She's hysteric.

:

00:38:49,584 --> 00:38:49,954

This is

:

00:38:49,954 --> 00:38:50,514

Shaun: fucking aggressive.

:

00:38:52,594 --> 00:38:53,684

Carissa: What the fuck?

:

00:38:54,449 --> 00:38:55,049

Peter: Oh God.

:

00:38:55,049 --> 00:38:56,069

You have to put that up.

:

00:38:56,129 --> 00:38:58,709

Carissa: I don't, yeah, you're gonna

have to put that up on our page.

:

00:38:58,709 --> 00:39:00,869

'cause that is Oh my Jesus.

:

00:39:00,929 --> 00:39:02,039

I can't even watch it.

:

00:39:02,039 --> 00:39:04,139

You can't even see anything except

:

00:39:04,139 --> 00:39:05,429

Peter: for his jiggling stomach.

:

00:39:05,819 --> 00:39:07,739

He is pasty fucking white.

:

00:39:07,919 --> 00:39:08,879

And he is a redhead.

:

00:39:09,149 --> 00:39:09,389

Yeah.

:

00:39:09,389 --> 00:39:10,439

And he is a ginger.

:

00:39:11,339 --> 00:39:14,219

And I can, this is that is it?

:

00:39:14,219 --> 00:39:15,329

What kind of move is this?

:

00:39:15,329 --> 00:39:15,989

What is this?

:

00:39:15,989 --> 00:39:16,739

The hammer throw?

:

00:39:17,549 --> 00:39:19,419

Shaun: Uh, I would call

this the the carjack.

:

00:39:20,439 --> 00:39:20,949

Carissa: Oh yeah, put that up.

:

00:39:21,024 --> 00:39:24,399

Maybe put that up on our page for people

to see because that's Unfuck real.

:

00:39:24,429 --> 00:39:25,929

Shaun: I recall his ants in the pants.

:

00:39:25,959 --> 00:39:26,829

'cause he is like, uh,

:

00:39:28,659 --> 00:39:30,729

Carissa: he's just thrusting everywhere.

:

00:39:30,999 --> 00:39:35,049

Peter: He is like at a concert and there's

women everywhere and he doesn't know which

:

00:39:35,049 --> 00:39:35,739

Carissa: one he wants.

:

00:39:35,744 --> 00:39:36,104

Exactly.

:

00:39:37,989 --> 00:39:40,089

Peter: It's like a, what do you

call that, the metal detector?

:

00:39:40,724 --> 00:39:41,024

It is.

:

00:39:41,024 --> 00:39:43,704

It's detected all over the,

:

00:39:47,169 --> 00:39:49,149

it's terrible that, that was awful though.

:

00:39:49,149 --> 00:39:49,329

That was

:

00:39:49,329 --> 00:39:50,619

Carissa: the worst one I've ever seen.

:

00:39:50,709 --> 00:39:52,029

Don't ever show me that again.

:

00:39:53,649 --> 00:39:57,369

Peter: And he's doing it shirtless

too, which just looks like the sun.

:

00:39:57,519 --> 00:39:58,509

'cause he's so white.

:

00:40:01,959 --> 00:40:03,969

She's radiating potential.

:

00:40:07,779 --> 00:40:12,699

Shaun: Tomorrow our Facebook and TikTok

and Instagram are gonna be flooded

:

00:40:12,699 --> 00:40:16,179

with Dorking videos and people are

gonna wonder what the hell is going on.

:

00:40:16,239 --> 00:40:16,929

Perfect.

:

00:40:17,169 --> 00:40:18,129

Peter: Let us see your laughy

:

00:40:18,129 --> 00:40:18,549

Shaun: taffy.

:

00:40:19,959 --> 00:40:20,319

Yeah.

:

00:40:20,319 --> 00:40:22,764

With that said, I have not for real.

:

00:40:23,464 --> 00:40:23,684

No.

:

00:40:23,684 --> 00:40:24,044

Hold on.

:

00:40:24,064 --> 00:40:24,284

Not

:

00:40:24,284 --> 00:40:24,444

Peter: for

:

00:40:24,444 --> 00:40:24,604

Shaun: real.

:

00:40:24,654 --> 00:40:25,004

Don't.

:

00:40:25,544 --> 00:40:28,509

No, we have a dwe off

challenge for our listeners.

:

00:40:28,719 --> 00:40:28,809

What?

:

00:40:28,809 --> 00:40:28,899

God.

:

00:40:29,359 --> 00:40:32,809

It's that time we wanna see

your best drk submissions.

:

00:40:32,989 --> 00:40:34,759

Prop props are encouraged.

:

00:40:34,849 --> 00:40:36,739

Staplers, pride flags.

:

00:40:36,739 --> 00:40:36,829

What?

:

00:40:36,829 --> 00:40:38,269

Maybe even an IKEA lamp.

:

00:40:38,959 --> 00:40:40,039

What are they doing with the steamers?

:

00:40:40,674 --> 00:40:43,129

Carissa: Take the microphone

away from Sean immediately.

:

00:40:43,939 --> 00:40:45,529

Shaun: Themed works are welcome.

:

00:40:45,529 --> 00:40:45,859

Steamed.

:

00:40:45,859 --> 00:40:46,684

Carissa: What the fuck?

:

00:40:46,744 --> 00:40:46,964

Oh,

:

00:40:46,964 --> 00:40:47,164

Shaun: he

:

00:40:47,164 --> 00:40:47,324

Peter: said

:

00:40:47,324 --> 00:40:47,644

Shaun: themed.

:

00:40:47,884 --> 00:40:48,799

Carissa: I thought he said steamed.

:

00:40:50,329 --> 00:40:51,379

Shaun: I mean steamed too.

:

00:40:51,379 --> 00:40:52,099

If you want.

:

00:40:52,699 --> 00:40:54,439

Oh, my Halloween spooky flop.

:

00:40:54,439 --> 00:40:55,789

Christmas jingle flop.

:

00:40:55,999 --> 00:40:57,259

Oh no, you're gonna

:

00:40:57,259 --> 00:40:58,804

Peter: put paintings on it.

:

00:41:00,349 --> 00:41:01,849

Shaun: I mean, that's

not what I was thinking.

:

00:41:01,849 --> 00:41:02,239

But

:

00:41:02,359 --> 00:41:04,909

Peter: for the Halloween

one, is there gonna paint?

:

00:41:04,909 --> 00:41:06,679

The possibilities are endless.

:

00:41:07,309 --> 00:41:08,239

Oh, Jesus.

:

00:41:08,389 --> 00:41:12,589

Uh, and then they're uncircumcised

and they're painted like a, an eater.

:

00:41:12,589 --> 00:41:14,539

Shaun: It's not supposed to be out.

:

00:41:15,454 --> 00:41:16,624

So this has gone downhill?

:

00:41:16,654 --> 00:41:16,894

Peter: Yeah.

:

00:41:17,164 --> 00:41:17,674

Real fast.

:

00:41:17,674 --> 00:41:18,389

You said that they do it.

:

00:41:18,484 --> 00:41:20,284

You really think they're

all gonna be closed.

:

00:41:21,634 --> 00:41:24,394

Carissa: Do you know what kinda

shit is gonna flood our pages?

:

00:41:25,804 --> 00:41:27,034

I don't wanna see any of it.

:

00:41:27,544 --> 00:41:27,964

None.

:

00:41:29,134 --> 00:41:30,124

Peter: Unless you're lesbian.

:

00:41:30,814 --> 00:41:31,864

Let submit yours too.

:

00:41:31,894 --> 00:41:31,954

No,

:

00:41:32,434 --> 00:41:33,874

Carissa: I don't want them either.

:

00:41:35,194 --> 00:41:36,994

Peter: It has to be equally as painful.

:

00:41:37,024 --> 00:41:40,114

Carissa: If you shake your titties,

fine, but I don't want to see you drk.

:

00:41:40,114 --> 00:41:40,174

No.

:

00:41:40,384 --> 00:41:40,984

With a strap

:

00:41:40,984 --> 00:41:41,434

Peter: box.

:

00:41:41,434 --> 00:41:45,694

We do not wanna see any of your

appendages out and open and wild

:

00:41:45,694 --> 00:41:46,774

and running in the neighborhood.

:

00:41:47,249 --> 00:41:47,989

Please do not.

:

00:41:48,214 --> 00:41:48,664

Please keep

:

00:41:48,664 --> 00:41:49,534

Shaun: them covered.

:

00:41:50,854 --> 00:41:53,044

Carissa: Don't fucking send them none.

:

00:41:53,194 --> 00:41:54,154

Don't send any of 'em.

:

00:41:54,814 --> 00:41:55,534

Shaun: Send them to me.

:

00:41:56,884 --> 00:41:58,354

Carissa: Send it directly to Sean dm.

:

00:42:01,159 --> 00:42:02,569

Peter: Get it the fuck out of my face.

:

00:42:04,459 --> 00:42:06,169

Carissa: I'm not opening

any of our fan mail.

:

00:42:06,379 --> 00:42:06,619

None.

:

00:42:07,099 --> 00:42:07,429

None.

:

00:42:08,779 --> 00:42:09,379

Peter: Oh my God.

:

00:42:09,379 --> 00:42:12,919

I'm in charge of all the fan mail

and all the social media reply

:

00:42:13,009 --> 00:42:14,899

for the next year and a half.

:

00:42:15,619 --> 00:42:18,379

Our email is gonna be so bad.

:

00:42:18,889 --> 00:42:19,699

Ah,

:

00:42:21,139 --> 00:42:22,789

Shaun: listen, something's

gonna get us to go viral.

:

00:42:24,379 --> 00:42:24,559

Peter: Oh my God.

:

00:42:24,559 --> 00:42:24,889

Yeah.

:

00:42:24,979 --> 00:42:26,209

This will be like a plague.

:

00:42:26,389 --> 00:42:26,989

Yeah.

:

00:42:26,989 --> 00:42:31,039

Shaun: And Jess know that if you do send

your videos in, we will most likely have

:

00:42:31,039 --> 00:42:35,449

a special where we review them on live.

:

00:42:35,839 --> 00:42:36,379

Yes.

:

00:42:36,559 --> 00:42:37,849

Carissa: I'm not fucking watching them.

:

00:42:38,089 --> 00:42:38,629

None of them.

:

00:42:39,199 --> 00:42:39,289

Shaun: And

:

00:42:39,289 --> 00:42:41,389

Peter: Carissa, your

reactions will just be great.

:

00:42:41,479 --> 00:42:45,889

I can, yeah, I can see it now.

:

00:42:47,569 --> 00:42:48,469

Issa passes out.

:

00:42:48,709 --> 00:42:51,374

Not then we start filming her

for OnlyFans while she's leaving.

:

00:42:52,729 --> 00:42:55,074

Set her up with a Trech subscription tier.

:

00:42:56,214 --> 00:42:56,994

She passed out.

:

00:42:56,994 --> 00:42:59,184

So we need to, we need to make money.

:

00:42:59,514 --> 00:43:01,014

She can't just fucking stay here.

:

00:43:02,544 --> 00:43:03,594

You're gonna be pulling your weight.

:

00:43:05,154 --> 00:43:07,254

Carissa: How much money do you think

I could make passed out with the

:

00:43:07,254 --> 00:43:10,344

headphones on podcast gear Everywhere.

:

00:43:10,524 --> 00:43:11,514

Peter: It's a good setting.

:

00:43:11,919 --> 00:43:12,449

Carissa: It's Steve.

:

00:43:15,749 --> 00:43:19,344

Peter: Charge Extra for that recharge.

:

00:43:19,344 --> 00:43:20,334

Extra for the headphones.

:

00:43:23,904 --> 00:43:27,774

Shaun: Extra to have the recording

gear working while she sleeps.

:

00:43:28,494 --> 00:43:29,724

We'll have it on and recording.

:

00:43:31,824 --> 00:43:32,814

Peter: It will be muted.

:

00:43:32,814 --> 00:43:34,674

We charge extra for the noises too.

:

00:43:36,084 --> 00:43:36,384

Yes.

:

00:43:37,669 --> 00:43:38,089

Anyway.

:

00:43:39,954 --> 00:43:45,054

Please be mindful if you feel the

need or so compelled to send in your

:

00:43:45,054 --> 00:43:48,174

twerking videos that Sean will review.

:

00:43:48,234 --> 00:43:49,704

'cause none of us want see it and

:

00:43:49,704 --> 00:43:51,684

Shaun: Peter's gonna

recreate the best ones.

:

00:43:51,684 --> 00:43:52,434

I am not.

:

00:43:52,734 --> 00:43:53,874

Carissa: I'm not looking at anything.

:

00:43:53,874 --> 00:43:54,384

No sir.

:

00:43:54,384 --> 00:43:54,774

None of it.

:

00:43:55,524 --> 00:43:56,034

None of it.

:

00:43:56,244 --> 00:44:00,744

Shaun: And then Carissa's gonna

recreate the top five videos.

:

00:44:00,864 --> 00:44:02,004

Carissa: Oh my god.

:

00:44:03,594 --> 00:44:04,884

I'm keeping my shirt on.

:

00:44:06,174 --> 00:44:06,654

Just saying

:

00:44:07,194 --> 00:44:08,244

Peter: helicopter titties.

:

00:44:08,874 --> 00:44:10,044

Carissa: Never doing that either.

:

00:44:13,109 --> 00:44:14,239

This is so bad.

:

00:44:15,259 --> 00:44:18,984

All I think of with helicopter

titties is remember wild, wild west?

:

00:44:19,194 --> 00:44:20,604

When Will Smith dresses up?

:

00:44:20,604 --> 00:44:23,079

Like the woman who's like, we

:

00:44:23,079 --> 00:44:24,714

Peter: forgot about that.

:

00:44:24,714 --> 00:44:26,544

So what would be the woman's equivalent?

:

00:44:26,994 --> 00:44:28,764

It's not twerking.

:

00:44:28,764 --> 00:44:28,804

It would be ting.

:

00:44:29,484 --> 00:44:31,614

I guess, how can you throw that around?

:

00:44:31,614 --> 00:44:31,734

You

:

00:44:31,734 --> 00:44:32,544

Carissa: fucking can't.

:

00:44:32,544 --> 00:44:34,164

And if you can go see a doctor,

:

00:44:34,794 --> 00:44:35,154

Shaun: maybe.

:

00:44:35,604 --> 00:44:38,859

Maybe my friend from childhood

could tell us that she, oh, the

:

00:44:39,249 --> 00:44:41,904

bits she had, she was, yeah, she

was able to tug at those bits a lot.

:

00:44:41,904 --> 00:44:43,674

So maybe she couldn't throw that around.

:

00:44:43,674 --> 00:44:43,779

She could probably

:

00:44:43,784 --> 00:44:45,084

Carissa: fucking throw it around.

:

00:44:45,144 --> 00:44:48,324

If you can make, it's like those

sticky hands, you get outta

:

00:44:48,324 --> 00:44:50,064

the fucking 50 cent machine.

:

00:44:51,174 --> 00:44:52,074

That's her twat.

:

00:44:52,134 --> 00:44:55,619

When she's thrusting it her at Oh those.

:

00:44:55,729 --> 00:44:57,979

It's like, oh my God.

:

00:44:58,519 --> 00:45:00,294

And it gets stuck everywhere

:

00:45:00,384 --> 00:45:02,304

Peter: just to slap people

with a forehead with those,

:

00:45:02,484 --> 00:45:03,774

Carissa: and then it leaves a little mark.

:

00:45:03,779 --> 00:45:04,019

Yeah.

:

00:45:04,079 --> 00:45:05,034

Peter: Oh yeah.

:

00:45:05,034 --> 00:45:05,694

It on the tv.

:

00:45:05,694 --> 00:45:07,074

And then it's just like

a hand print there.

:

00:45:07,074 --> 00:45:07,134

Ugh.

:

00:45:09,594 --> 00:45:14,124

Extra points If you can make

it clap during twitting.

:

00:45:14,664 --> 00:45:16,194

Oh my god.

:

00:45:16,194 --> 00:45:16,704

What the fuck?

:

00:45:16,764 --> 00:45:17,814

I don't need to see it.

:

00:45:18,849 --> 00:45:19,989

But it needs Audible.

:

00:45:19,994 --> 00:45:20,134

Send.

:

00:45:20,139 --> 00:45:20,289

Send

:

00:45:20,289 --> 00:45:22,119

Shaun: those videos directly to Peter.

:

00:45:22,989 --> 00:45:25,539

Yes, directly to Peter will

be reviewing the Tting videos.

:

00:45:26,679 --> 00:45:28,749

Peter: If it's not audible, it's deleted.

:

00:45:32,704 --> 00:45:33,789

Gross Tting.

:

00:45:33,789 --> 00:45:35,589

It sounds like we're cooking something.

:

00:45:35,679 --> 00:45:35,949

I don't know.

:

00:45:35,949 --> 00:45:38,979

It sounds to me, to me it sounds like some

:

00:45:38,979 --> 00:45:40,869

Shaun: kind of stamp.

:

00:45:41,139 --> 00:45:41,229

Peter: It's,

:

00:45:44,079 --> 00:45:44,854

Shaun: oh, just t it.

:

00:45:47,229 --> 00:45:49,269

Carissa: Peter opens one and

gets smacked in the forehead.

:

00:45:51,399 --> 00:45:55,694

Peter: Still gay and now mildly disturbed.

:

00:45:57,279 --> 00:45:58,719

Mild not major.

:

00:46:00,669 --> 00:46:01,329

Takes a lot.

:

00:46:02,859 --> 00:46:03,699

How the fuck did we

:

00:46:03,699 --> 00:46:04,299

Shaun: get here?

:

00:46:04,959 --> 00:46:05,769

I don't know.

:

00:46:06,429 --> 00:46:06,459

Twerking.

:

00:46:07,599 --> 00:46:10,329

I don't even, I don't even think I

know what this episode was supposed

:

00:46:10,329 --> 00:46:12,129

to be about other than d Dorking.

:

00:46:12,129 --> 00:46:16,599

I'm pretty sure it had a topic and we

just spiraled away from it completely.

:

00:46:16,719 --> 00:46:17,349

Yes.

:

00:46:17,499 --> 00:46:18,249

Oh, I'll start.

:

00:46:18,249 --> 00:46:18,399

Story

:

00:46:18,399 --> 00:46:19,059

Carissa: of our lives.

:

00:46:19,119 --> 00:46:20,769

We haven't gotten to talk about shit yet.

:

00:46:22,659 --> 00:46:24,069

Shaun: Oh, this is a good

time to talk about it.

:

00:46:26,624 --> 00:46:27,644

Peter: But yeah, I don't know.

:

00:46:28,404 --> 00:46:29,889

I don't, I really don't know.

:

00:46:29,949 --> 00:46:34,364

That sounds gross, but I wanna

hear it, but I want to hear it.

:

00:46:34,839 --> 00:46:38,169

It's one of those things you can't

look away, but you want to, but

:

00:46:38,169 --> 00:46:39,189

you need to know how it ends.

:

00:46:39,279 --> 00:46:39,339

The

:

00:46:39,339 --> 00:46:41,169

Carissa: fact that you

wanna hear it terrifies me.

:

00:46:41,379 --> 00:46:41,619

Peter: Yeah.

:

00:46:41,619 --> 00:46:42,969

It needs to be, I don't know.

:

00:46:42,999 --> 00:46:45,579

'cause you can hear it

when it someone's twerking.

:

00:46:46,209 --> 00:46:47,769

If they're naked, you can hear

:

00:46:50,619 --> 00:46:53,829

Shaun: how many twerking videos

do you watch where they're naked.

:

00:46:53,829 --> 00:46:55,179

Peter: You've seen enough men naked.

:

00:46:55,179 --> 00:46:57,459

You know what it looks like

when they decide to show it.

:

00:46:59,224 --> 00:47:00,519

It makes noises

:

00:47:02,529 --> 00:47:04,689

Carissa: if a woman can

do this and make noises.

:

00:47:04,749 --> 00:47:08,829

I don't ever wanna fucking see

another woman naked again in my life.

:

00:47:09,174 --> 00:47:09,394

Peter: Oh

:

00:47:09,454 --> 00:47:09,874

Carissa: my God.

:

00:47:11,289 --> 00:47:11,529

Peter: Like wings.

:

00:47:12,639 --> 00:47:12,729

Carissa: Ugh.

:

00:47:13,449 --> 00:47:14,949

Peter: It has to sound

like a morning dove.

:

00:47:14,949 --> 00:47:16,089

You know what those are, right?

:

00:47:16,809 --> 00:47:19,629

When you're, when you guys walk

outside and you hear the bird

:

00:47:19,629 --> 00:47:23,559

that goes when it flies away, oh

my God, that's a morning temp.

:

00:47:28,689 --> 00:47:29,949

It needs to sound like that.

:

00:47:30,249 --> 00:47:32,079

If you can't do that, I

don't want to hear it.

:

00:47:32,414 --> 00:47:33,384

Carissa: Don't fucking send it.

:

00:47:33,924 --> 00:47:34,374

Just don't.

:

00:47:36,924 --> 00:47:37,614

Shaun: Oh my Lord.

:

00:47:37,894 --> 00:47:38,284

This is

:

00:47:38,284 --> 00:47:38,644

Peter: fun, but we

:

00:47:38,644 --> 00:47:38,944

Shaun: can't do it.

:

00:47:38,944 --> 00:47:39,094

You,

:

00:47:41,104 --> 00:47:42,394

so I have a question.

:

00:47:42,934 --> 00:47:43,054

Mm-hmm.

:

00:47:43,474 --> 00:47:50,344

Let's, since we've talked about the flop

all episode, basically let's talk about

:

00:47:50,464 --> 00:47:53,164

some real life flops that don't involve.

:

00:47:54,379 --> 00:47:55,069

Dingalings.

:

00:47:55,539 --> 00:47:56,709

That doesn't sound like fun.

:

00:47:58,659 --> 00:48:04,629

Do, Krista, do you have any like fitness

or wellness flop stories that you know

:

00:48:04,629 --> 00:48:07,359

of that, that have happened recently?

:

00:48:07,824 --> 00:48:08,044

Carissa: Mm.

:

00:48:09,043 --> 00:48:09,763

Something.

:

00:48:10,153 --> 00:48:10,573

I don't know.

:

00:48:10,573 --> 00:48:13,273

Flops, like, you mean flopping,

like falling down or getting hurt?

:

00:48:13,873 --> 00:48:14,473

Yeah, that works.

:

00:48:15,733 --> 00:48:16,903

Nothing's happened to me.

:

00:48:17,023 --> 00:48:17,683

Thankfully.

:

00:48:18,073 --> 00:48:20,263

I hit my head every so

often on the barbell.

:

00:48:20,263 --> 00:48:22,393

That's, it's obnoxious.

:

00:48:23,293 --> 00:48:26,593

Well, it's, the weights are racked

in a fucking stupid spot and it's

:

00:48:26,593 --> 00:48:29,738

underneath the barbell, so you hit

the bend over to get the plates,

:

00:48:29,738 --> 00:48:33,518

the weighted plates, and then you're

picking them up to load the barbell

:

00:48:33,518 --> 00:48:34,838

and you always hit your fucking head.

:

00:48:35,348 --> 00:48:36,728

Shaun: It was clearly made by a man.

:

00:48:36,788 --> 00:48:40,298

Carissa: It was, it was absolutely made

by a man because it's a fucking idiot.

:

00:48:40,358 --> 00:48:42,218

Shaun: A woman would not

have designed it that way.

:

00:48:42,218 --> 00:48:45,128

She would've hit her head once if she

would've said, we need to fix this shit.

:

00:48:45,133 --> 00:48:45,333

Carissa: Yes.

:

00:48:46,133 --> 00:48:46,898

It's obnoxious.

:

00:48:46,898 --> 00:48:48,188

That happens to me all the time.

:

00:48:48,368 --> 00:48:49,508

Shaun: Actually, I take that back.

:

00:48:49,508 --> 00:48:50,648

She wouldn't have hit her head once.

:

00:48:50,648 --> 00:48:53,738

She would've said, we're gonna

hit our head doing it this way.

:

00:48:53,738 --> 00:48:55,238

So we need to redesign that.

:

00:48:55,838 --> 00:48:59,858

Carissa: And there are rings like

Olympic style gymnast rings that

:

00:48:59,858 --> 00:49:04,898

hang in the gym I go to, and I don't

know, sometimes they're hanging down

:

00:49:04,898 --> 00:49:05,978

and sometimes they're tucked away.

:

00:49:05,978 --> 00:49:08,348

I don't, to be honest, I

don't pay attention to more

:

00:49:08,618 --> 00:49:09,788

where they tuck 'em away.

:

00:49:10,238 --> 00:49:14,438

But I'll go walk over to the stretching

area and I always fucking walk into

:

00:49:14,438 --> 00:49:15,668

the rings when they're hanging down.

:

00:49:15,698 --> 00:49:17,108

'cause I'm just not paying attention.

:

00:49:19,448 --> 00:49:21,638

Nothing too chaotic but obnoxious.

:

00:49:21,638 --> 00:49:21,648

Yes.

:

00:49:23,673 --> 00:49:24,331

Peter: She's not well.

:

00:49:24,331 --> 00:49:26,221

She's not paying attention

to the nuva rings.

:

00:49:27,211 --> 00:49:27,781

Nuva rings.

:

00:49:28,081 --> 00:49:28,891

Oh my God.

:

00:49:29,276 --> 00:49:30,901

Carissa: No, no.

:

00:49:31,776 --> 00:49:33,106

Yeah, yeah.

:

00:49:35,521 --> 00:49:36,181

Shaun: What about you Peter?

:

00:49:36,181 --> 00:49:39,291

Have you heard of any

crazy Florida man stories.

:

00:49:39,636 --> 00:49:39,926

Yeah.

:

00:49:39,926 --> 00:49:40,166

Peter: Lately.

:

00:49:40,171 --> 00:49:40,521

Yeah.

:

00:49:40,701 --> 00:49:45,081

There was a Florida man that was

caught drk to get a judge's attention.

:

00:49:45,711 --> 00:49:46,131

Oh my God.

:

00:49:46,131 --> 00:49:46,886

In a courtroom.

:

00:49:47,091 --> 00:49:47,691

My god.

:

00:49:48,261 --> 00:49:49,221

Carissa: You're fucking lying.

:

00:49:49,251 --> 00:49:52,371

Peter: No, I saw, I just

saw a story for that.

:

00:49:53,751 --> 00:49:54,621

Carissa: That's gross.

:

00:49:54,771 --> 00:49:55,191

Yeah.

:

00:49:55,191 --> 00:49:57,171

Peter: And by I, and

thought I just looked it up.

:

00:49:57,741 --> 00:49:59,871

Carissa: Was he escorted out

of the courtroom after that?

:

00:49:59,871 --> 00:50:02,631

Peter: No, he was in the, oh my God.

:

00:50:03,501 --> 00:50:06,501

There's a twerking fail where

someone lit their cooch on fire.

:

00:50:06,501 --> 00:50:07,191

That's cool.

:

00:50:07,401 --> 00:50:08,601

Carissa: What the fuck?

:

00:50:08,601 --> 00:50:09,351

Peter: Yeah.

:

00:50:10,541 --> 00:50:15,371

It says they talked to Jimmy

Kimmel and says he filmed the

:

00:50:15,371 --> 00:50:17,021

worst twerk fail ever girl.

:

00:50:17,201 --> 00:50:18,461

A girl caught on fire.

:

00:50:20,291 --> 00:50:21,431

Carissa: Oh my God.

:

00:50:21,461 --> 00:50:21,941

Yeah.

:

00:50:22,001 --> 00:50:23,351

Peter: Her pussy was literally on fire.

:

00:50:23,351 --> 00:50:23,411

Oh,

:

00:50:23,771 --> 00:50:23,981

Carissa: my

:

00:50:25,001 --> 00:50:25,991

Peter: pussy's on fire.

:

00:50:26,051 --> 00:50:26,441

Yes.

:

00:50:26,441 --> 00:50:27,251

Now kiss the flame.

:

00:50:27,881 --> 00:50:28,181

Ew.

:

00:50:28,901 --> 00:50:31,961

I'd rather not, it wasn't audible.

:

00:50:32,981 --> 00:50:33,911

Carissa: Could you imagine the smell?

:

00:50:34,661 --> 00:50:35,621

Ooh, yeah.

:

00:50:35,961 --> 00:50:37,521

Peter: The smell of burnt pube hair.

:

00:50:37,821 --> 00:50:40,791

Stinky and failed ambition rotting

:

00:50:40,791 --> 00:50:41,481

Carissa: flesh.

:

00:50:41,691 --> 00:50:44,301

Peter: Ooh, that was nasty.

:

00:50:44,451 --> 00:50:44,691

Yep.

:

00:50:44,751 --> 00:50:45,651

That was too far.

:

00:50:45,811 --> 00:50:46,261

Carissa: Sorry.

:

00:50:46,771 --> 00:50:48,181

This is just where my brain went.

:

00:50:50,561 --> 00:50:56,411

Shaun: I haven't been able to verify

this story, but I have seen that

:

00:50:56,411 --> 00:50:59,861

there may have been a TikTok, a French

TikTok star banned from the Louvre

:

00:50:59,861 --> 00:51:02,561

for Drk in front of the Mona Lisa.

:

00:51:03,221 --> 00:51:04,181

Oh, is this Bach?

:

00:51:04,601 --> 00:51:05,711

I'm not sure.

:

00:51:05,741 --> 00:51:08,111

Maybe 'cause I'm trying

to find out if it's true.

:

00:51:08,161 --> 00:51:09,466

It's just that I was sent.

:

00:51:09,466 --> 00:51:09,801

I can't see care

:

00:51:09,801 --> 00:51:12,141

Peter: doing it, so it sounds

like something Bach would do.

:

00:51:13,341 --> 00:51:17,491

Shaun: Maybe when I tried to verify

I couldn't find the video of it.

:

00:51:17,491 --> 00:51:20,601

So I'm not 100% sure, but it sounds

like something that could have happened.

:

00:51:21,471 --> 00:51:22,281

Peter: Yeah, definitely does.

:

00:51:23,281 --> 00:51:26,971

Shaun: So before we wrap things

up, let's talk about what you

:

00:51:26,971 --> 00:51:32,461

would put in your apocalypse and

avocados grind set survival kit.

:

00:51:33,061 --> 00:51:38,131

So I personally think that what

I would put in the survival kit

:

00:51:38,131 --> 00:51:40,561

to get through the week would be,

:

00:51:41,561 --> 00:51:42,881

Carissa: wait, are we getting

through the week or are we

:

00:51:42,881 --> 00:51:44,651

getting through the apocalypse?

:

00:51:44,921 --> 00:51:45,461

Peter: Both.

:

00:51:45,821 --> 00:51:46,481

Carissa: Oh, okay.

:

00:51:47,741 --> 00:51:49,151

Peter: That's a different story.

:

00:51:49,151 --> 00:51:52,211

Like a week versus an entire lifetime.

:

00:51:52,241 --> 00:51:52,511

Okay.

:

00:51:52,511 --> 00:51:54,341

It would be more specific

through the apocalypse,

:

00:51:54,341 --> 00:51:55,121

through the apocalypse, through

:

00:51:55,121 --> 00:51:57,406

Carissa: the apocalypse,

through the survival apocalypse.

:

00:51:58,751 --> 00:51:59,381

Peter: I got one.

:

00:51:59,451 --> 00:52:05,031

What would you put, I would put the cotton

swabs that you need to do gonorrhea tests

:

00:52:06,201 --> 00:52:07,701

through there for the entire apocalypse.

:

00:52:07,701 --> 00:52:11,331

Can, you know, when people meet up,

they're gonna just be fucking, oh my God.

:

00:52:11,331 --> 00:52:11,601

Yeah.

:

00:52:11,606 --> 00:52:11,816

Carissa: Yeah.

:

00:52:11,931 --> 00:52:14,001

Well I was, that's why I'll

have a strap on in mine.

:

00:52:15,066 --> 00:52:16,596

And I don't have to worry about that.

:

00:52:16,596 --> 00:52:16,651

Still gonorrhea.

:

00:52:16,806 --> 00:52:17,496

No, you can't.

:

00:52:17,496 --> 00:52:18,691

Not from the strap on all

:

00:52:18,691 --> 00:52:19,211

Peter: the juices.

:

00:52:19,321 --> 00:52:21,366

Yeah, all the juices

have to, you know it off.

:

00:52:21,366 --> 00:52:21,456

What?

:

00:52:21,456 --> 00:52:21,936

I'll wash

:

00:52:21,936 --> 00:52:23,736

Carissa: it in the fucking

Mississippi River if I have to.

:

00:52:23,946 --> 00:52:24,156

Oh

:

00:52:24,156 --> 00:52:24,546

Peter: yeah.

:

00:52:24,546 --> 00:52:26,256

That's not gonna get gonorrhea.

:

00:52:26,286 --> 00:52:27,756

Well, something The other person is gonna

:

00:52:27,756 --> 00:52:28,026

Carissa: get it.

:

00:52:28,026 --> 00:52:28,596

Not me.

:

00:52:29,981 --> 00:52:33,156

Shaun: Gonna get something that was

:

00:52:33,156 --> 00:52:33,486

Peter: slightly

:

00:52:33,486 --> 00:52:33,666

Shaun: racist.

:

00:52:35,046 --> 00:52:35,766

Peter: Wasn't supposed to be.

:

00:52:35,766 --> 00:52:36,426

You can cut that.

:

00:52:36,846 --> 00:52:37,716

No, it wasn't.

:

00:52:38,976 --> 00:52:39,126

Anyway,

:

00:52:39,126 --> 00:52:39,606

Shaun: moving on.

:

00:52:40,416 --> 00:52:42,846

I was thinking more like a ring light.

:

00:52:42,876 --> 00:52:44,976

Forgives all sins.

:

00:52:45,036 --> 00:52:47,916

If you have good lighting, where are

:

00:52:47,916 --> 00:52:48,156

Peter: you gonna

:

00:52:48,156 --> 00:52:48,426

Shaun: plug

:

00:52:48,426 --> 00:52:48,576

Peter: it in?

:

00:52:51,355 --> 00:52:52,975

Carissa: There will be a

solar powered ring light.

:

00:52:53,065 --> 00:52:54,085

A solar powered ring light.

:

00:52:54,115 --> 00:52:55,615

Ooh, ooh,

:

00:52:56,910 --> 00:52:57,805

Shaun: no, I don't know.

:

00:52:57,815 --> 00:53:00,545

Maybe a lawyer on retainer

in case HR catches me.

:

00:53:00,545 --> 00:53:01,265

D Dorking,

:

00:53:02,525 --> 00:53:03,545

Peter: they're gonna be dead.

:

00:53:04,115 --> 00:53:05,495

Carissa: It's the apocalypse.

:

00:53:06,605 --> 00:53:08,375

Shaun: You are ruining all my stuff.

:

00:53:08,405 --> 00:53:09,155

Carissa: You're not working.

:

00:53:09,155 --> 00:53:11,585

If you're working during the

apocalypse, you must be traumatized.

:

00:53:11,645 --> 00:53:12,275

Yeah.

:

00:53:12,375 --> 00:53:14,375

Shaun: Listen, in my line of

work, I'm sure that people

:

00:53:14,375 --> 00:53:16,205

will still be like calling me,

:

00:53:16,805 --> 00:53:18,635

Peter: fix this for me on my social media.

:

00:53:18,995 --> 00:53:21,155

But you said it was supposed

to be in your survival kit.

:

00:53:21,155 --> 00:53:22,445

Are you gonna chop up the lawyer?

:

00:53:22,445 --> 00:53:22,685

Yeah, but it

:

00:53:22,685 --> 00:53:24,785

Shaun: was the grind set survival kit.

:

00:53:25,060 --> 00:53:25,560

Peter: Oh, okay.

:

00:53:25,560 --> 00:53:26,675

Oh, okay.

:

00:53:26,675 --> 00:53:26,885

That's

:

00:53:26,885 --> 00:53:27,515

Shaun: a different story.

:

00:53:29,331 --> 00:53:30,051

Peter: I don't know.

:

00:53:30,171 --> 00:53:31,221

I don't have anything.

:

00:53:31,221 --> 00:53:31,791

Sorry,

:

00:53:33,291 --> 00:53:38,121

Shaun: this was as big of a flop as

that drk that was going down his leg.

:

00:53:38,121 --> 00:53:38,181

No,

:

00:53:39,531 --> 00:53:39,831

Peter: no.

:

00:53:39,831 --> 00:53:41,391

Nothing's as big as that.

:

00:53:41,601 --> 00:53:41,781

No.

:

00:53:41,781 --> 00:53:44,391

The one that was trying

to swap bees there.

:

00:53:44,661 --> 00:53:45,471

Shaun: Oh God.

:

00:53:45,951 --> 00:53:46,491

Alright.

:

00:53:46,551 --> 00:53:46,821

He was

:

00:53:46,821 --> 00:53:47,391

Peter: everywhere.

:

00:53:47,961 --> 00:53:52,071

Shaun: Before we close things out,

let's just manifest our next moves.

:

00:53:52,161 --> 00:53:56,661

What do you want to do this season?

:

00:53:56,661 --> 00:53:57,321

This.

:

00:53:58,676 --> 00:54:01,061

Not necessarily just on the,

on the podcast, but like

:

00:54:01,061 --> 00:54:02,681

what is a goal that you have?

:

00:54:03,191 --> 00:54:11,021

I am going to become a d Drk influencer

and collab with Goop Drk candles.

:

00:54:11,681 --> 00:54:11,921

Peter: Now

:

00:54:12,401 --> 00:54:13,841

Shaun: I'm manifesting it right now.

:

00:54:14,021 --> 00:54:14,861

It's gonna happen.

:

00:54:16,211 --> 00:54:16,301

Carissa: Yeah.

:

00:54:16,301 --> 00:54:17,081

Call me Gwen.

:

00:54:18,041 --> 00:54:21,551

We're gonna set up the OnlyFans in the

camera and I'm gonna sleep in different

:

00:54:21,551 --> 00:54:23,711

settings and make lots of fucking money.

:

00:54:24,461 --> 00:54:25,511

Shaun: She's manifesting it.

:

00:54:25,631 --> 00:54:26,111

Carissa: I am,

:

00:54:27,431 --> 00:54:28,961

Peter: I'm gonna get some more voices.

:

00:54:30,041 --> 00:54:30,401

Yeah,

:

00:54:30,551 --> 00:54:31,446

Carissa: it's nothing new.

:

00:54:32,666 --> 00:54:33,006

It is

:

00:54:33,161 --> 00:54:33,461

Peter: new.

:

00:54:33,461 --> 00:54:34,631

There's a bunch in there.

:

00:54:36,491 --> 00:54:37,571

You're gonna add one more.

:

00:54:37,931 --> 00:54:39,491

At least I'm nervous.

:

00:54:40,871 --> 00:54:43,481

No, but in, in real talk here.

:

00:54:43,561 --> 00:54:48,721

I have been designing a merch that

is almost complete, so you should

:

00:54:48,721 --> 00:54:50,911

see that drop sometime this week.

:

00:54:51,401 --> 00:54:52,511

Be on the lookout for that.

:

00:54:52,511 --> 00:54:56,741

I'm sure you'll see 50 million posts go

up for it saying that it is live now.

:

00:54:56,921 --> 00:54:57,941

But I hope you enjoy it.

:

00:54:59,231 --> 00:55:00,161

Absolutely.

:

00:55:01,511 --> 00:55:03,041

Carissa: I'm really

excited for the merch too.

:

00:55:03,311 --> 00:55:04,451

I already have buyers.

:

00:55:05,861 --> 00:55:07,421

Peter: Yes, they will be fun.

:

00:55:07,961 --> 00:55:10,016

There are some naughty bits in there.

:

00:55:11,096 --> 00:55:13,166

Maybe we'll make some Dorking candles now.

:

00:55:13,736 --> 00:55:14,516

Oh yeah.

:

00:55:14,756 --> 00:55:15,866

For all our flop stars.

:

00:55:19,046 --> 00:55:19,286

Yeah.

:

00:55:19,286 --> 00:55:20,216

No, I don't know.

:

00:55:20,786 --> 00:55:22,706

But yeah, it will be releasing sometime.

:

00:55:22,706 --> 00:55:22,796

We

:

00:55:22,796 --> 00:55:23,756

Carissa: should get candles.

:

00:55:23,756 --> 00:55:24,596

That would be great.

:

00:55:25,076 --> 00:55:28,136

Peter: Yeah, there may or

may not already be one.

:

00:55:28,746 --> 00:55:29,826

Carissa: Maybe we need Dick and

:

00:55:29,826 --> 00:55:30,606

Peter: Vagina Candles.

:

00:55:30,696 --> 00:55:31,596

Smells like

:

00:55:32,196 --> 00:55:35,676

Shaun: wasted youth and crushed dreams.

:

00:55:35,976 --> 00:55:37,326

Peter: John and Carissa are not aware.

:

00:55:37,326 --> 00:55:41,196

There's been a few that they have seen,

but they do not know the extent of what

:

00:55:41,196 --> 00:55:43,926

is in the merch catalog coming out.

:

00:55:44,196 --> 00:55:44,406

Carissa: Nope.

:

00:55:44,496 --> 00:55:45,066

Can't wait.

:

00:55:45,071 --> 00:55:45,571

I'm excited.

:

00:55:46,746 --> 00:55:47,466

Shaun: I'm excited.

:

00:55:47,466 --> 00:55:49,326

I've seen some of the stuff and it's nice.

:

00:55:50,271 --> 00:55:53,241

So do you guys have anything that

you wanna share with our listeners

:

00:55:53,241 --> 00:55:55,311

before we wrap up this first episode?

:

00:55:56,601 --> 00:55:57,981

Peter: I have officially dried out.

:

00:55:58,581 --> 00:55:59,811

I am no longer sweaty.

:

00:56:01,251 --> 00:56:03,471

Carissa: I'm so excited that

we're back for season two.

:

00:56:03,951 --> 00:56:04,401

Peter: Yes.

:

00:56:04,611 --> 00:56:04,881

Very

:

00:56:04,881 --> 00:56:05,211

Shaun: much

:

00:56:05,241 --> 00:56:06,951

Carissa: more shenanigans

and chaos to come.

:

00:56:07,491 --> 00:56:11,691

Shaun: We made the quarter finals

on America's favorite couple.

:

00:56:11,691 --> 00:56:14,841

Peter and I vote for us and

get us to the semifinals.

:

00:56:15,111 --> 00:56:15,591

Peter: Yes.

:

00:56:15,591 --> 00:56:16,911

Get us to the semifinals.

:

00:56:16,911 --> 00:56:21,471

One couple decided that they wanted to

take it to the next level and started

:

00:56:21,471 --> 00:56:23,331

fighting with us, so we need to beat them.

:

00:56:24,321 --> 00:56:25,521

Carissa: How long does this go on for?

:

00:56:25,521 --> 00:56:27,081

I feel like we've been voting forever.

:

00:56:27,231 --> 00:56:27,351

Peter: Yeah.

:

00:56:27,351 --> 00:56:27,861

Too long.

:

00:56:28,006 --> 00:56:28,296

Yeah.

:

00:56:28,301 --> 00:56:28,581

Yeah.

:

00:56:28,641 --> 00:56:29,601

I should have won already.

:

00:56:30,561 --> 00:56:30,981

Carissa: Right?

:

00:56:30,981 --> 00:56:32,031

That's what I'm saying.

:

00:56:32,241 --> 00:56:33,711

I thought you won two weeks ago.

:

00:56:33,861 --> 00:56:33,981

I know.

:

00:56:34,941 --> 00:56:37,276

Peter: Yeah, we won around two weeks ago.

:

00:56:38,556 --> 00:56:40,176

No, but we did, thanks to all of you.

:

00:56:40,176 --> 00:56:45,066

We got through the wild card round

and we are back in it a quarterfinal.

:

00:56:45,246 --> 00:56:49,446

So any help and support that you

doom, scrollers, chaos, crew, anything

:

00:56:49,446 --> 00:56:51,996

and your twerking videos can get us.

:

00:56:52,716 --> 00:56:54,576

We're much appreciated for it.

:

00:56:54,576 --> 00:57:00,556

It is going to be going towards

our new studio that will post

:

00:57:00,556 --> 00:57:02,056

all of apocalypse and avocados.

:

00:57:02,896 --> 00:57:05,806

Hopefully give Carissa a nice

backdrop for when we're in Europe.

:

00:57:06,121 --> 00:57:06,601

They're leaving

:

00:57:06,741 --> 00:57:06,961

Carissa: me.

:

00:57:07,621 --> 00:57:09,201

Peter: Yes, they're leaving me.

:

00:57:09,556 --> 00:57:12,886

But more on that to come when there's

the next avocados abroad minis.

:

00:57:13,966 --> 00:57:14,416

Shaun: Yes.

:

00:57:14,446 --> 00:57:16,876

And those mini sos we

promise are all still coming.

:

00:57:16,876 --> 00:57:17,626

They just

:

00:57:17,686 --> 00:57:17,806

Peter: are

:

00:57:17,806 --> 00:57:19,186

Shaun: taking a little more

:

00:57:19,186 --> 00:57:21,076

Peter: time to get the way we want them.

:

00:57:22,516 --> 00:57:26,386

And Carissa will be having a mini sword

coming out shortly with her fitness.

:

00:57:26,446 --> 00:57:26,956

I will.

:

00:57:27,106 --> 00:57:27,706

Yes.

:

00:57:28,486 --> 00:57:29,056

Carissa: I'm just kidding.

:

00:57:29,056 --> 00:57:29,116

I.

:

00:57:31,616 --> 00:57:34,616

Peter: And my first hard truth

segment will be coming out.

:

00:57:34,616 --> 00:57:35,366

Yay.

:

00:57:35,366 --> 00:57:35,516

So.

:

00:57:35,516 --> 00:57:35,576

Yay.

:

00:57:37,676 --> 00:57:37,916

Yeah.

:

00:57:37,916 --> 00:57:39,116

They sound so enthused.

:

00:57:39,176 --> 00:57:39,596

Um,

:

00:57:42,736 --> 00:57:50,771

But we wanna ask you go ahead and submit

to our either dms or submit to our email.

:

00:57:51,211 --> 00:57:56,041

And we will get some questions

answered for you guys live.

:

00:57:56,976 --> 00:57:58,771

Absolutely, absolutely.

:

00:57:58,891 --> 00:58:00,541

Maybe I'll pull out one of the voices.

:

00:58:02,158 --> 00:58:02,398

Oh yeah.

:

00:58:02,518 --> 00:58:02,788

That's all.

:

00:58:03,238 --> 00:58:05,518

Carissa: I don't know why he said

maybe he's definitely gonna do it.

:

00:58:05,518 --> 00:58:06,328

They're always coming

:

00:58:06,328 --> 00:58:06,628

Peter: out.

:

00:58:06,743 --> 00:58:07,623

They're always talking.

:

00:58:08,638 --> 00:58:09,718

They're talking right now.

:

00:58:10,318 --> 00:58:11,068

I don't like it.

:

00:58:11,068 --> 00:58:11,878

I feel left out.

:

00:58:12,448 --> 00:58:12,838

Alright.

:

00:58:14,158 --> 00:58:15,928

Shaun: I guess that kind

of brings us to an end.

:

00:58:15,928 --> 00:58:20,488

So if you've ever d worked at your

desk flopped in front of the camera

:

00:58:20,968 --> 00:58:25,678

or just needed a reason to laugh at

the gay internet, you're one of us.

:

00:58:26,233 --> 00:58:31,093

So subscribe, stalk us online

and send us your best work fails.

:

00:58:31,603 --> 00:58:35,773

Next episode, we might talk

about something productive,

:

00:58:36,853 --> 00:58:39,163

useful, probably not.

:

00:58:39,553 --> 00:58:39,703

Yeah.

:

00:58:42,373 --> 00:58:48,673

Until then, keep Drk and remember if it

flops, at least it makes it go viral.

:

00:58:49,601 --> 00:58:51,216

Bye bye bye.

Next Episode All Episodes Previous Episode

Listen for free

Show artwork for Apocalypse & Avocados with Peter, Shaun, and Carissa.

About the Podcast

Apocalypse & Avocados with Peter, Shaun, and Carissa.
Three queer millennials—a sarcastic fitness instructor, a stoner drag enthusiast, and his brutally honest boyfriend—tackle the chaos of modern life with unfiltered humor and overpriced produce.
Three queer millennials—a sarcastic fitness instructor, a stoner drag enthusiast, and his brutally honest boyfriend—tackle the chaos of modern life with unfiltered humor and overpriced produce. From dating apps to climate dread, nothing’s off-limits. It’s part survival guide, part group therapy, all too real.

New episodes every Monday & Thursday.

Follow us on Facebook and our other socials: IG & Threads Apocalypse_and_Avocados; Snapchat, X, & Bluesky @ApocAndAvocados; TikTok @apocalypse.and.Avocados

Because if we’re going down, we’re doing it with guac and gay panic.

About your host

Profile picture for Peter Perez

Peter Perez